What is this feeling I get. Could it be the physical sign of my grief?

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Comment by Sherbear on June 12, 2012 at 11:49pm

Oh boy! Do I know what an anxiety attack is! I had them for months when Dave was first diagnosied with MD.

Know , I really think it is "my grief". Last night when it "hit me" I came here on this site and typed out my thoughts. And, last night when I acknowledged it, I was able to get control of where it was going to take my mind. So, I know now when I get that sensation or feeling I need to address it and write out what it is I am thinking or feeling.

Thanks for the concern Suz :). Lord knows those anxiety/panic attacks are so real!

Of course, when I fell asleep, I did have a nightmare that my mother in law and father in law moved in with me to take care of them! :0!

Comment by celestia (Suzanne) on June 12, 2012 at 11:05pm

Is it anxiety? If you've never had it before it can manifest in some weird ways. I went through a few years of anxiety attacks and nights were always the worst.

Comment by Cristina on June 12, 2012 at 2:26pm

I get two weird feelings...one is my heart seems to beat differently, a good deal of the time, especially if I am tripping about Billie or on here, reading other people's heart-rending stories...it almost feels like there's not the same amount of blood going through it.  It might be related to the hypertension that finally developed, the month after Billie died.  I'm glad it didn't happen earlier, I needed what I had of health to get us both through our ordeal.  The other feeling that I have a lot, just since losing him, is as if my stomach is missing, or mostly missing...which is weird, because Billie had had a gastro-esophageal resection, in 2005, when he was operated on for esophageal cancer.  So he only had about half of his stomach, and what was left was pulled up under his ribs.  So, it's one of those odd things, poetic though pathetic, too, this feeling like I'm caving in in my gut...like a vacuum down there, like a vacancy where the belly used to be.  Anyone else feel this?  Thanks for starting this thread, Sherbear.  I'm sorry you're suffering in this way, and impressed that you are trying to understand it and get a handle on it, hopefully.  More power to you.  To all of us: lord knows we need it. 

Comment by Suz on June 12, 2012 at 2:12pm

I have Fibromyalgia and it does often start after a major stressful event. I have had it for fifteen years and need to use a mobile scooter much of the time. Most people don't have it to this extent and I keep working to get better. Warm water exercise, very slowly, working yourself up, is very helpful. Don't let anyone tell you to just get out and exercise which is a common myth. You must go very slowly and if you have a lot of pain, work with a physical therapist. Get plenty of sleep and eat well. Do what I say, not what I always do...lol.

Hugs,Suz

Comment by dazed on June 12, 2012 at 12:42pm

I got that feeling too a lot the first year. It was kind of a burning feeling.  Something I had never felt before.  I would get it every morning when I woke up and knew that his death was real and I was still here without him.  Since then I only get it if a sudden memory hits me.  I have wondered if it is my husband's spirit touching me letting me know he is near. 

Comment by Israel Girl (Chris) on June 12, 2012 at 11:14am

Yes, I do.  For me, it began about six months after my husband passed away.  Achiness (how DO you spell that, if it is a word? lol) - on the bottom of my feel, my arms and ankles, backs of my legs, and neck.  Sometimes there is swelling in my arms and legs too. 

 

I finally asked the doctor and saw a specialist.  It's Fibromayalsia, for me.  Almost like an early onset of arthritis and very likely caused by all the stress of losing my husband suddenly and taking over a household with three teens, trying to budget with one income, etc.

 

I would definately encourage you to ask a doctor.  I haven't heard of what you describe, but it might put your mind at ease to have a doctor acknowledge it for you.