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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I reflect a lot of the state of the world and how you would feel were you still here. I secretly am glad you are not. I will persevere on behalf of us both. It is my sacrifice to you as I know your temperament could never tolerate for very long all the chaos erupting daily. At least not without putting individuals in their places, perhaps not in such a socially accepted manner : - 0

That leaves me with the double labor of complaining and being on the opposite side of the world - the unpopular view. 

Know that I will do what I can to be true to what I see as our values. I have to admit though that tolerance has flown out the window, not without good reason in a lot of cases. I hope God has a plan for it all. Maybe you will let me in on it ; -  ]

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Comment by Tess on July 14, 2020 at 2:46pm

I see a common theme that this crazy world and all that is happening would be certainly be easier to digest with our loved ones by our side. Sometimes it was just a matter of them commiserating and providing balance. Then of course, there were times they would not tolerate much of the craziness. For my hubby’s health and sake, I’m glad he has been released from that burden.
Thanks for weighing in.

Comment by Estragon on July 14, 2020 at 5:24am

If my late wife were here, I'm pretty sure we would have handled this as we did most things.  She would be pretty ticked off about things, but would be tempered by my need for facts, reason, and logic.  My logic would be tempered by her more emotional view.  We could face pretty

much anything together that way. 

Comment by Callie2 on July 12, 2020 at 7:01pm

These are trying times for us all.  I don’t participate in a lot of social media venues, I just never had the desire.  I think it would be stressful for me, I hold different views than some of my friends and family.  I avoid certain topics with a lot of them, I need peace more then ever during this time of my life!

Like you, I know how my husband would be reacting.  He would be stressed and his blood sugar and blood pressure would be elevated.  Praying that my grandchildren will have opportunity for a brighter future.

Comment by Debb on July 12, 2020 at 6:56pm

I miss talking to my husband. He was my best friend and confidant. We made every decision together and I always leaned on his wisdom. Now I make decisions with my adult children but they mostly agree with me. They are adults but are still children in so many ways. I miss being hugged and holding hands with him saying that things will be alright.

Comment by Tess on July 12, 2020 at 12:18pm

I discouraged my hubby from creating a Facebook account, which wasn’t really that difficult anyway as he was somewhat of a Luddite. But I could see him alienating people posting his form of truth. 

I’m trying to remain kind, as you say, regardless of differing views. I too though have unfollowed people that are over the top with heavy opinions. Facebook sure has a way of making potential enemies out of friends. 

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on July 12, 2020 at 10:46am

I'm approaching the 10 year anniversary of my husband's passing and I, too, often think of how Vern would be reacting to all of the things that have occurred since he left. Especially now. I just keep reminding myself that love and kindness mattered to him, as they do to me. We can be kind regardless of which side of the issue we find ourselves and our friends.

But, yes, I'll admit that in order to keep to that resolve I've had to unfollow some family and friends on social media. Just need to keep on keeping on....

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