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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I am a widow,the word sounds so sad .like an abandoned child unloved and desperate to survive.This is my first blog and I hope I make sense as I speak out my mind .
I will not get into my life because that's not the purpose of my blog.Its to get right into feeling sad and bursting frustrated and wanting to scream ....
I am a 56 year old woman who just realized how tough it is to be a woman alone .we seem to suddenly become this 'available' woman open to the advances of all sorts of men.mostly married ! married at the age of 17 we were together till I lost him on 25/9/2012 .It never occurred to me how lonely aloneness can be.there is so much I want to do .travel for one .But I don't want to go alone or with strangers or with family ( I feel even more sad because they are part of my memories)
This is my first blog .so please forgive me if I don't make any sense.please know however how grateful I am for being here amongst you who understand me the most !

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Comment by SharonH1885 on April 28, 2015 at 8:37am

I recently ventured out on my own and took a cruise to the Caribbean alone. I new that my Bill and I loved cruising before his passing and thought if I hated it by myself, I never had to do it again. I am here to tell you I will surely go again, alone if no one wants to join me. I had a blast. I talked to people when I wanted to be social, I spent time alone when I wanted and I learned that I can do things alone. While I had my sad moments, I also had some happy memories and experiences that I was able to share with total strangers. I flew from California to Florida, cruised to some amazing places and made it home safely. I didn't venture out into anyplace dangerous, but did manage to try some new experiences. I am here to say that as a widow, I choose to remember that my life goes on. I chose to find it flattering when flirted with (but did not engage or flirt back). I met people from all over the US and we exchanged emails. I met several educators from New York and Georgia and invited them to visit here in California.

Comment by bethsheba on April 28, 2015 at 8:21am

Gosh I get this.

I hate having to be here, to be a widow.

The travel thing is an issue for me too. don't want to go alone but don't have anybody I want to take with me.

Comment by Denise on April 28, 2015 at 6:25am
Hello again .I really feel bad that I only post when I need a 'shoulder' to cry on.Its almost three years and still I feel the pain of loss .Sometimes I think its loneliness that's disguised and surfacing . Every once in a while I miss him and hugging my pillow just doesn't suffice.
People who know me will never recognize this hurting person. I am usually this strong in control types quite bossy on occasion .
My children think moms fine .they don't know how lost I feel alone in my room.I just can't fathom why I want to be myself when they visit and feel sad when they leave.pretty confusing huh !
Pl don't feel sorry for me .I am just going through a phase ........
Comment by Denise on April 26, 2015 at 1:20am
Thank you .i feel so greful for this space and hearing from people who know where it hurts !
Comment by Patience (Diane) on April 25, 2015 at 1:42pm
Denise,
so sorry you are going through this... It's definitely easier being part of a couple.
Especially with a wonderful and loving husband. The word "widow" can have a different more positive meaning.
Almost like a badge of honor. We honored our vows till death parted us.
That's something to be proud of.
I know it's hard, I have my bad days too. Yesterday I was telling a friend that I didn't want to suffer a long time before dying. I said I'd rather go quickly, and I was actually ready to "go" any time. I got some funny looks. But I meant every word.
Comment by Callie2 on April 24, 2015 at 9:32pm
You do make sense, Denise. It's not easy beginning a new life, it's actually a little frightening. We have to do it in small steps but we have to try. We need to restore our confidence. Remember you are a person, try not to define yourself as a widow or an abandoned child, you're much more than that.

There are a lot of people who attend those Meetup groups, have you considered that? Maybe forming new friendships is something you could work on. While our losses will always be a part of who we are, there comes a time when we need to focus more on the present and future. I don't know if you are still grieving, but once we feel ready to move forward in our lives, that's what we must do. It's not that we get over it, we learn to live in peace with it.
Comment by bis4betsy on April 24, 2015 at 9:13pm

Sorry for your loss, I hope writing about your pain helps your heart.  

The first time I used the word "widow"  was horrible.  I went from being a wife to being a widow.  I would love to travel more but it's not the same alone without anyone to share things with.  

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