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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

"You should be here..."  I heard those lyrics in a song yesterday, and ain't it the truth.

You SHOULD be here, we were supposed to grow old together. I never thought this would happen in a million years.

It is 9 months today since my wife passed. Last July I could not imagine making it this far.... But we take one day at a time.

I am really confused on who I am or who I am supposed to be. That is to say that I get through the days with the tasks and responsibilities. But, when the day is over I am quite lost. I get frustrated when for a second I think "Oh! I need to tell Linda this when I get home". And I instantly remember, she is not going to be there. This is such a difficult transition. I don't like the loneliness. I don't like how hard it is to remain focused or motivated to do things.

I can be sitting there watching tv, or reading or just looking out the window......and realize how alone I am. Fondly remembering feeling "whole", even if we were not in conversation....just being together was so right. I miss that, terribly.

Three more months will make it one year. It doesn't seem real.... But, it is.

Trying tto find things to keep busy. But as i do them, I often think "You should be here..." because I would love to share this moment with you.

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Comment by TG1096 on March 20, 2016 at 2:44am
I think I heard the same song last night....I too struggle with the " can't wait to get home " phase, so that I can share the events of the day with my husband. Only to be met by the deafening silence of an empty house. I'm almost 14 months out, and I have to say the start of the second year has brought more loneliness than the first. I guess I'm coming out of the fog and facing the full reality of life without Gary. I keep busy with work, family, friends and even some folks I met in a local widowed support group. I get "by" when I choose happiness over hurt, but readily admit there are just some days that are harder than others. Thank you for sharing, it helps to know these feelings aren't mine alone!

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