I can't sleep tonight, although I'm very tired. Last night I printed the entire transcript from my email of the last 6 weeks of Bob's life. In the last year I had sent his brother posts on his condition. He never called and when he emailed me back the 2 times it was two word messages. He never offered me any support or thanks. No one cared about Bob's pain or what I was going through caring for him. They only cared about the life insurance. Bob left his estate and business in a mess. He could trust me, I didn't know he had been lying to me. Everyone from our congregation is wondering "who was he?" Me too. I knew if 30 years. His parents clipped his wings. The older brother got away, so they made sure Bob couldn't. He never left there nucleus, he straddled between the two. I lost my Mom 4 months after we were married in a car accident, and my father a year and one half later. His parents were over bearing. Two much for me. I don't understand how the older brother and his wife never had to deal with this. This ruined our marriage. I was always left to stand alone.
So, I have to deal with the betrayal first before, I can deal with the grief from the loss. I don't understand how I can still love him and miss Bob dearly with his deception. To learn he had bit off more than he could chew. His life was a lie, and I am being blamed. I truly believe G-d punished him and took him. At one time I believed only the good were taken, but this is one time I think it was for one to many lies and bad behavior. What are your thoughts about this, am I wrong to think this?
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Welcome Bear: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I know you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".
I am so sorry for your loss yet I am glad you found us. You will find some great help here on the site and the relationships you will build with all of the great people here. We are all on the other side of life now and only we can really understand how you feel. I am on chat quiet often and it is scary and overwhelming at times in the beginning. I would like to offer a bit of assistance when you are ready use the chat room. 1. I always advise you watch for a bit, the room gets busy sometimes and hard to follow at first. 2. You will see some joking and even laughter, you will also see tears and breakdowns. The people here are here to support and be supported by peers. 3. Looking at the chat you will see that the left window has a sliding bar that tells you who is online (they may be on another part of the site though) 4. If you click on a name in the side bar this should open up a private chat or PC as we call it. 5. I f you receive a PC a red # will show under the main lobby with the name and icon of the person it is from or if you sent it to someone 6. Your first entry: This is hit or miss, it really depends on when you jump in if lots of folks are chatting you can easily get missed. I recommend just saying Hi I am new and give whatever info you want (hi I am Arnie From NJ and today I am 3 months and 3 days out) this way if others are from NJ they may want to know more. 7. BE READY: Ok once you do go into the lobby be ready as the questions are needed and they are sometimes gentile, sometimes the questions fly at you. Please take your time here as if this is new for you this may open you up emotionally, and it is normal to feel this and from what i am told a needed part of trying to begin to live again. 8. Most people on the chat are women as of now but the men that are involved are very respectful and sometimes fun. 9. Remember almost no one knew each other until they came here. 10. Good luck and I sent you a friend request, lets face it near or far we need support, and with so many from around the world there is almost always someone on. ALSO using internet explorer is problematic with chat so Firefox appears to be the best..
I hope this long winded letter helps you in the beginning and again SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
Hi again, Bear. So, Ashland, huh? Wow, I went to college in Ashland and it really is beautiful around there, isn't it? That's interesting about all the artwork that you found...I hope that some of it will be very comforting to you in time. Thanks for your reply and you be gentle with yourself, as well. Night now. L.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Bear, but glad you found us. There is caring support and friendship here. Join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. Those 'chirps' you hear when you're in Widowed Village mean people are talking in the Chat Room; stop in some time and join the conversations. I saw your post on the 'blood cancer" forum. My husband died from multiple myeloma. I look forward to getting to know you here.