Soinpain's Comments

I am so sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here, but i am so glad that you found Widowed Village! This is a wonderful community with amazing people who offer support and encouragement. I am so glad that you found our Unwedded Widow and Widowers group.  You are accepted here and we "get it". Here to walk beside you on this journey. ~ GW~

Since you're in Simi Valley - and that's the home of the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation - you might want to send an email to contact@sslf.org and ask for their assistance in directing you to local support groups.

Also have you checked the local hospitals or hospices for face-to-face support groups?  In most cases, you don't need to have used their services to be able to participate. Call to check on what is available; sometimes they don't update their web pages as often as they should.

And the unwedded widows group here is quite active and Greggies Widow could be a good resource for you.  I've linked Brandi's page here for you.

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss, yet I am glad you found us. You will find some great help here on the site. The relationships you will build with all of the great people here. We are all on the other side of life now and only we can really understand how you feel. I am on chat quiet often and it is scary and overwhelming at times in the beginning. I would like to offer a bit of assistance when you are ready to use the chat room.
1.     I always advise you to watch for a bit, the room gets busy sometimes is hard to follow at first.
2.    You will see some joking and even laughter, you will also see tears and breakdowns. The people here are here for support and to be supported by peers.
3.    Looking at the chat you will see that the left window has a sliding bar that tells you who is online (they may be on another part of the site though)
4.    If you click on a name in the side bar this should open up a private chat or PC as we call it.
5.    I f you receive a PC a red # will show under the main lobby, with the name and icon of the person it is from or if you sent it to someone
6.   Your first entry:
    This is hit or miss, it really depends on when you jump in. If lots of folks are chatting you can easily get missed so don't give up. I recommend just saying "Hi, I am new and give whatever info you want" (hi I am Arnie From     NJ and today I am 3 months and 3 days out) this way if others are from NJ they may want to know more.
7.   BE READY:
      Ok once you do go into the lobby be ready as the questions are needed and they are sometimes gentile. However sometimes the questions fly at you. Please take your time here, as if this loss is new for you this may open          you up emotionally, and it is normal to feel this and from what i am told a needed part of trying to begin to live again.
8.   Questions you may be asked are: How long has it been?  Where do you live? How did it happen? Do you have a support group or family? These seem like easy questions but we never know what will trigger tears.
9.   Most people on the chat are women as of now but the men that are involved are very respectful and sometimes fun.
10. Remember almost no one knew each other until they came here.
11. Good luck and I sent you a friend request, lets face it near or far we need support, and with so many from around the world there is almost always someone on.

I hope this long winded letter helps you in the beginning and again SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

Sincerely Sorry,

Arnie / arthur09265

I'm so very sorry for your loss, soinpain, but glad you found us. There is caring support and friendship here.  Join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Those 'chirps' you hear when you're in Widowed Village mean people are talking in the Chat Room; stop in some time and join the conversations.  I look forward to getting to know you here.

Soinpain I am so sorry for your loss. 

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
Supa
site founder and admin

I'm so sorry for the pain and loss that brought you here. but I'm so pleased you've found us. None of us wanted to join this journey, but now that we have it's up to us to travel it in the best way for us. Everyone tries to help and thinks they know whats best for us, but we have to live it so set your own pace for healing. Do it your way in your time, and with friends that understand. We've all lived it here and we all have so much to offer to help each other. Welcome soinpain, glad your here.