As I look at the clock tonight, I realize that I have now officially been a widow for three years.  There is still not a single day where I don’t think of Tim.  I know that I will forever miss him and I know that there will still be days where I cry for him.  I look at our son and see so much of his daddy in him…a daddy he will never know.  How is it that he has the same food likes and dislikes when he was only 9 months old when daddy went to Heaven?  I have studied genetics and not one…

Next Friday (5/6) will mark the three year anniversary to me becoming a widow.  When I was first widowed, other widows would tell me that the third year was the worst.  I could never understand how that could be possible, but now, I do.  I have been more emotional, short-fused, and feeling more unhinged in the past few days than I have in the past 2 1/2 years.  I  have cried more in the past two or three days than I have over the past year.  It was even more frustrating to have no idea as to…

Here's another old blog of mine.  It was when I was contemplating dating again and all the trouble I was having dealing with people.

Hard to breathe.  Burning in my throat and chest.  Queasy stomach. Throbbing headache.  The depression is back.  My shattered heart strains to keep together with every beat.  There are tears screaming and burning behind my eyelids, aching to be released.  Why am I here again?  Oh, that’s right, I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. …

One year…

It’s impossible to believe that, isn’t it?  Actually, there are days that feel like he’s been gone for more like a century, as if the part of my life with him was a dream, not a reality.  But, scattered remnants of our life together are reminders that he wasn’t just a dream.  Look how much has changed in this short amount of time.  Our baby boy is not so little anymore.  He’ll be two in a few short months.  He’s a growing toddler who is way too smart for his own good.  He’s…