My wife was a great cook. My cholesterol numbers proved it. It was a social time for us.
Sometimes she would have me barbecue ribs, carne asada, chicken. She would do all the prep, all I had to do was turn it on time.
I don’t like cooking for myself. It feels like a waste of time. I usually buy take-out. I don’t mean to sound negative, I’ve accepted the fact she’s gone. It’s taken over four years.
The moment came for me (Acceptance) when I realized my grief would remain. I could learn to live with it or succumb to it. I chose the first.
Like everything else cooking was something we partnered at; I fully returned to the normalcy. I miss him cooking for us. I miss hearing him say, “Babe this is really good.” Most of all I miss sitting next to him at the table.
I loved to cook for my very appreciative husband..I dont bother to cook for myself. I sit at a tiny table in the kitchen or at the sofa, I feel weird sitting at the dining room table by myself.
I was the usual cook in the household and she had more than a few dietary restrictions, I used to love making something/anything that would make her smile.
Now, dinner time is just time to fill a hungry stomach, there really isn’t anything enjoyable about it any longer.
That time we shared at dinner was, almost, the most intimate part of our life together. The food was thoughtfully prepared and elegantly presented. It was a communal event, before, during and after. The conversations we had represented most of our communication, mostly light and interesting.
The contrast to meals now is pretty stark. Often I skip them, but when I don’t, they are more akin to putting gas in the tank than attending an event.
I tried recreating those elegant meals a few times, but it just seemed pointless, like putting lipstick on a pig. Firing up the grill now and then is the only cooking that feels OK.
I feel you David. Grilling was our favorite thing to do together. I still do it. After almost three years, just starting to enjoy it a little.
Yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary (Stephen crossed the veil three years ago) as well as Russian Easter. I cooked two of his favorite Easter dishes, set a place for him at the table, lit candles and talked to him. Was comforting.
I miss most ending the work day sitting out on the back porch with a glass of wine discussing the days’ events.
soulmate says
Posted on May 8, 2021 0
My wife was a great cook. My cholesterol numbers proved it. It was a social time for us.
Sometimes she would have me barbecue ribs, carne asada, chicken. She would do all the prep, all I had to do was turn it on time.
I don’t like cooking for myself. It feels like a waste of time. I usually buy take-out. I don’t mean to sound negative, I’ve accepted the fact she’s gone. It’s taken over four years.
The moment came for me (Acceptance) when I realized my grief would remain. I could learn to live with it or succumb to it. I chose the first.
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NakeshaF says
Posted on May 5, 2021 0
Like everything else cooking was something we partnered at; I fully returned to the normalcy. I miss him cooking for us. I miss hearing him say, “Babe this is really good.” Most of all I miss sitting next to him at the table.
Eileen O says
Posted on May 5, 2021 0
I loved to cook for my very appreciative husband..I dont bother to cook for myself. I sit at a tiny table in the kitchen or at the sofa, I feel weird sitting at the dining room table by myself.
TomH says
Posted on May 4, 2021 0
I was the usual cook in the household and she had more than a few dietary restrictions, I used to love making something/anything that would make her smile.
Now, dinner time is just time to fill a hungry stomach, there really isn’t anything enjoyable about it any longer.
DavidS says
Posted on May 3, 2021 0
That time we shared at dinner was, almost, the most intimate part of our life together. The food was thoughtfully prepared and elegantly presented. It was a communal event, before, during and after. The conversations we had represented most of our communication, mostly light and interesting.
The contrast to meals now is pretty stark. Often I skip them, but when I don’t, they are more akin to putting gas in the tank than attending an event.
I tried recreating those elegant meals a few times, but it just seemed pointless, like putting lipstick on a pig. Firing up the grill now and then is the only cooking that feels OK.
shebert56 says
Posted on May 3, 2021 0
I feel you David. Grilling was our favorite thing to do together. I still do it. After almost three years, just starting to enjoy it a little.
Yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary (Stephen crossed the veil three years ago) as well as Russian Easter. I cooked two of his favorite Easter dishes, set a place for him at the table, lit candles and talked to him. Was comforting.
I miss most ending the work day sitting out on the back porch with a glass of wine discussing the days’ events.
~Shirley
soulmate says
Posted on May 8, 2021 0
I totally get what you’re saying. I hear you.