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Posted on May 2, 2021 by Mary Moore Hughes 8 0
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May 8, 2021 at 4:38 pm
My wife was a great cook. My cholesterol numbers proved it. It was a social time for us.
Sometimes she would have me barbecue ribs, carne asada, chicken. She would do all the prep, all I had to do was turn it on time.
I don’t like cooking for myself. It feels like a waste of time. I usually buy take-out. I don’t mean to sound negative, I’ve accepted the fact she’s gone. It’s taken over four years.
The moment came for me (Acceptance) when I realized my grief would remain. I could learn to live with it or succumb to it. I chose the first.
May 6, 2021 at 5:47 am
My dear husband loved my cooking, God bless him. He was so easy to cook for and I enjoyed it most of the time. I miss that and I miss having him sit with me during meals.
Now, I sometimes eat while watching tv, balancing a plate, once in a while sit down, or stand up in the kitchen while eating and watching tv. I do try to make a proper meal here and there and I find I eat leftovers quite a bit now. Cooking for one stinks.
May 5, 2021 at 9:55 am
Like everything else cooking was something we partnered at; I fully returned to the normalcy. I miss him cooking for us. I miss hearing him say, “Babe this is really good.” Most of all I miss sitting next to him at the table.
Eileen O says
May 5, 2021 at 8:43 am
I loved to cook for my very appreciative husband..I dont bother to cook for myself. I sit at a tiny table in the kitchen or at the sofa, I feel weird sitting at the dining room table by myself.
May 4, 2021 at 9:50 am
I was the usual cook in the household and she had more than a few dietary restrictions, I used to love making something/anything that would make her smile.
Now, dinner time is just time to fill a hungry stomach, there really isn’t anything enjoyable about it any longer.
May 3, 2021 at 10:03 am
That time we shared at dinner was, almost, the most intimate part of our life together. The food was thoughtfully prepared and elegantly presented. It was a communal event, before, during and after. The conversations we had represented most of our communication, mostly light and interesting.
The contrast to meals now is pretty stark. Often I skip them, but when I don’t, they are more akin to putting gas in the tank than attending an event.
I tried recreating those elegant meals a few times, but it just seemed pointless, like putting lipstick on a pig. Firing up the grill now and then is the only cooking that feels OK.
May 3, 2021 at 4:41 pm
I feel you David. Grilling was our favorite thing to do together. I still do it. After almost three years, just starting to enjoy it a little.
Yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary (Stephen crossed the veil three years ago) as well as Russian Easter. I cooked two of his favorite Easter dishes, set a place for him at the table, lit candles and talked to him. Was comforting.
I miss most ending the work day sitting out on the back porch with a glass of wine discussing the days’ events.
May 8, 2021 at 4:39 pm
I totally get what you’re saying. I hear you.
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