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In what ways are your friends struggling to understand your grief?

Posted on March 17, 2023 by Mary Moore Hughes     1   6  

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  1. heartbroken artist says

    Posted on March 17, 2023     0  

    I keep having friends say to me, “It’s been almost two years. You just need to figure what you want to do in life now. Donna (my wife) would want you to find happiness.”

    What?!

    No. I had it figured out. I was happy. My wife and I had been together for 42 years and we had planned our future. Although there was no “plan B,” we were pragmatic about our plans. We knew things would and could happen.

    But what we didn’t plan for was hereditary cancer. A cancer that could have been prevented by individuals in her family that were acutely aware of a genetic mutation that could cause cancer.

    Friends just don’t understand what a horribly traumatic experience it was for me as a caregiver and losing her. And what it’s like being the solo parent of a child that carries the same mutation as her mother and the shadow of cancer being ever present. They talk as if what happened wasn’t that awful and I can just magically find happiness.

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