I lost my husband of 29 years suddenly 7 weeks ago. I feel like I am grieving more every day, missing him, loving him more. I still wait for him to come home. Roll over every morning and expect him to be on his side snoring away. When he isn’t I get physical sick. Friends and family are coming and calling less, they all think I should be moving forward more. It’s all I can do to get thru the hours each day.
Sorry for the loss, we are going through it as well and can truly appreciate and understand where you're coming from. It sucks, plain and simple. You will get a lot of the "get over it and just move on" out there, but not here. It's an unfortunate part of this, but we have to deal with it. Best wishes to you and know you are not alone.
yes, here you are not alone. We have all been through it and still go through it. Listen to yourself and don't get caught up in the "shoulds" -- I should be doing this or that. You will know when the time is right, and in the meantime, if you want to spend all day in bed or in your PJ's, that is the right thing for you to do at this time. And don't pay too much attention to other people - they are uncomfortable with grief, so they want you to be "all better." Lots and lots of hugs.
When your mate leaves this earth, whether it was sudden or after a lingering illness, you are deeply wounded. As in, DEEPLY. If it had been a surgery or a broken bone, no one would expect you to be totally over it in seven weeks. Those of us on this site know what you are experiencing. Your full-time job now needs to be taking care of yourself. Eat well and sleep, if you can. As the days and weeks progress you'll be able to do those things more easily. Then, as you gain strength, other things will be added and fall into place in their own time. Meanwhile, be patient with yourself. I'm over six years out and still feel like I am recovering. It takes time -- lots of time. (((HUGS)))
My sympathy to you in your loss of your beloved husband of 29 yrs. All your tears, your sadness, your depression and feeling lost and lonely are expected and common symptoms of the grief you are experiencing! We here at WV get it because we have all been where you are right now. Let me tell you first to ignore the advice of friends and family to "move on...do more...get out". They haven't got one clue as to the reality of what you are going through!!! And unless they become widowed they never will! Ignore their words!. Most of us have experienced family and friends disappearing into the woodwork or somewhere out there...ending contact with us. Ignore them too. Your grief is new and fresh and raw at 7wks! It will take more time to even begin to want to move forward. For now take care of yourself. Eat well and get sleep. Don't turn to junk food, alcohol or tobacco to calm or cheer you because it's not the answer and they will weaken you and addict you to hurtful things disguised as helpers. Read about grief. Look for things you enjoy--small things and do those first. Don't set up a timeline to end your grief - they don't work. You could try counseling or a support group to discuss your loss when you are ready. Wait on jumping to drugs for instant relief....they can help but you do not want dependence on them to enter your life before you have given yourself mourning time/reflecting and planning time. Baby steps moment by moment. Don't be afraid of your strange unwanted feelings of being lost. You are not lost. You found us and you will find others things to help as well....little by little. Post anytime you want. We will listen and understand. You will find a new path in time. And I promise there is healing for your grief but you must give it time to unfold. lj
Sorry for the loss of your husband. Seven weeks is a very short period of time and to think you should be moving forward is very unrealistic. Grief is a process that takes a lot longer and is different for all of us. It is important to deal with your feelings now so that healing can begin even though it is painful — this is the healthiest way forward. It is OK to be feeling the way you do, it is quite normal. Understand that there is no timetable for grief. No one can predict how long it will take but you will get there one day. Have you reached out for support through grief counseling or group bereavement? This is a very good site to share and express your feelings. Everyone here understands, just try and be patient with yourself.
7 weeks is a very short distance from the initial shock. At this point, I'd think your mind is just now trying to process the enormity of your loss. I'm 10 months out and still doing the same things as you but to a lesser extent. The way I describe it is my heart hasn't quite caught up with my brain.
You'll have so many people telling you what you should do unless they've been here they don't know what you should do. They can't get it no matter how much they think they understand. With us "members of the tribe" it's a unique situation we understand and get it for sure but every single one of us is different with needs and hurts that are individual to us. Stay true to what feels right for you, and always know one day, someday it will get easier.
Yes, ppl do chk in less and less but that's part of our journey we have to learn to be brave, self-sufficient, and self-reliant. It doesn't happen overnight for sure!
HUGS and best wishes, you aren't alone in this. Keep posting and reading it's amamzing how helpful it is just reading someone say, "I get you."