That’s the question? How do you feel peace, feel complete , feel the joy that is gone ? this is year 2 of my loss… there is the whole mindfulness thing, living in the moment. Early on, I’d try anything to find some sense that I could conquer this , boy was I wrong there. Lots of “ false starts”. Everyone said year 2 is worse.. I see that. Who am I after 36 years of marriage. I do experience the “ sprouts “ of new beginnings.. it may be thats it at best , a feeling of momentary contentment at best …
contentment at best…
Rick M (Carousel) says
Posted on May 25, 2022 0
Lisa – Your feelings of ‘false starts’ and trying to find a sense of purpose are not uncommon and something I think most of us experience. The second year for me has been…I hesitate to say worse…instead it is just different. The reality of my wife’s death is more real, with some disbelief still sprinkled in there on a daily basis. The rawness and numbness of the early months has been replaced by moments “okayness” Whatever that means in our current situations. When the loneliness and grief hit now, it tends to be more intense, but less often. Each day is simply existing on some automatic level for now. I am nearing my two-year mark next month and I wonder how I will feel knowing a third year with my wonderful wife, Koni, is inexorably arriving.
Be gentle with yourself and allow those moments of hope to wrap itself around you.
Take care.