These "special days" are so hard. My husband's birthday is this week and the third important date since he died. I have made plans for the weekend to try and have something to focus on but his birthday is Wednesday so I am not sure that will even help. I know I will go to the cemetery. That seems to be easier to do now but who knows? I find that I have no idea how I am going to respond to anything. I think I am making a bit of progress and then find myself crying all day. I have accepted the fact that I am not okay and I won't be for awhile. That was a very hard thing to accept. I am wondering how others are doing in this very new and awful state of life.
Cyndi died from a heart attack in December. 5 1/2 months later I want to say I am doing OK but I don't really believe that. I no longer feel every day like I'm going to lose my mind and I don't spend my days sobbing anymore. I can laugh and have a good time but it's always just temporary. Many times throughout the day (and night) it still hits me like a ton of bricks that she's gone. I have flashbacks to watching her dying in the hospital (heart attack). I really, REALLY hate that she's gone and there's nothing I can do about it other than try to go on somehow. I try to keep busy around the house and in the garden. That helps a lot. I planted some colorful plants this week to create a little bit of cheer, on the outside at least. Her birthday is in June, I think that will be a tough day.
Hi Bill. I am sorry for the loss of your wife Cyndi. I am glad to hear that you don't feel quite as insane. I cannot think of my husband's last days. They are so incredibly painful. Even writing that makes me feel like I cant breathe. I went and bought flowers to plant tonight but about 5 minutes into it, I was done. My kids and I have decided to celebrate my husband's birthday because we are actually celebrating him. I don't know how I/we will do but can't be any worse than just sitting here sobbing.
Telynn….we are all in the same boat so to speak. Try and stay busy...somehow you will get thru this
Life is changed, not taken away..
On the mirror in my bathroom is a word I truly believe in....
ACCEPTANCE we must accept what has happened to keep from going completely crazy.
You cannot change yesterday, last year or even a minute ago. Don't beat yourself up with those thoughts
I also have GRATITUDE for each new day I am given.....
Believe it or not, you will find yourself helping other people in ways you hadn't thought of
I am seeing a Hospice grief counselor and go to the Hospice grief groups to share my story with others...
I will remember you in my prayers