"Anything that starts with "At least" is going to end up stupid."
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AlanRRT
- Male
- Anaheim, CA
- United States
- Blog Posts (16)
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AlanRRT replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
bad ass widow commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"I dont think it was meant to be rude either, just an observation by one person. I cant speak for anyone else but I have had negative days and depressing days, and am glad that I can come here, say my negative and depressing thoughts and…"
Dianne in Nevada commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"Samantha - I don't think this was meant to sound rude, but I understand why you feel it does. There's room here for all of us. If you're in a bad place or a good place, if you're depressed or happy, if you can go to camp or not…"
Samantha (was clare) commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"wow....didnt you ever need someone to listen to you on a "negative day" and were you never depressed...wow
I used to chat here, but it seemed that all that was being spoken of was the Camps....I am glad they are to help those who can…"
bad ass widow commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"Yes Alan, HOPE matters. I too went on other sites and they did not offer me the hope that I needed. I never posted on any of them, but would read all the comments and for ME, I found that they dragged me even further down into that pit I…"
aussiewidow commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"I believe hope is vital. I'm not a fan of the positivity movement because I think it can lead to selfishness, among other things, but hope for the future sustains us.
I have been lucky - incredibly lucky - to meet a man who loves me very much.…"
MrsD commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"You know, I shouldn't say "too" positive; that implies a judgement of sorts, and that's not my intent at all. No, I think what I mean is that it seems like a lot of the posts here seem to be coming from people who are in a very…"
Lori commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"hope so does matter Allen thank you for being part of the people that have brought me so much hope"
Suz commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"I'll miss you, Mrs.D. I always enjoyed your honesty. I do hope you find a place in which you feel you are comfortable and getting what you need. "
Dianne in Nevada commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"We're lucky that the internet provides a variety of avenues for support, allowing each of us to choose what works best for our own individual needs. How we handle our grief - and our healing - is different for each of us. We've had people…"
MrsD commented on AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
"I find I'm on this site less and less, and it's actually because of the reasons you mentioned. It's just too positive for me. It's not that I'm choosing to not have hope, I just ...can't. I'm sorry I just…"
LaurieR liked AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
telechick liked AlanRRT's blog post Yes, hope matters
AlanRRT commented on Cristina's event 2 year sadiversary, of Darling Billie's Passing
"Hugs to you, hoping that year 3 brings some healing and comfort to you."
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Yes, hope matters
Posted on April 24, 2013 at 11:43pm 10 Comments 2 Likes
Shortly after Elaine died, I looked for some web sites on grief and found a couple. Someone later (I don't remember who she was, but I owe her a great debt) told me about Widowed Village. My experience, as with others I have talked to, is that I never went back to the other sites.
I recently started getting Facebook posts from one of the other sites (which shall remain nameless) and the tone of them was quite different from Widowed Village. I started reading the posts more…
Continue One year
Posted on March 22, 2013 at 1:30am 15 Comments 1 Like
One year ago. One trip around the sun. Twelve months ago today was the day the world turned upside down. The day I came home from work and tried to wake Elaine to have dinner, only to discover that she wasn't asleep. One year. Easter. Our anniversary. Fourth of July. Her birthday. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. My birthday. Valentine's Day. All celebrated without her.
It seemed…
Continue I hate widow brain
Posted on January 27, 2013 at 12:25pm 9 Comments 1 Like
A year ago, I didn't take any medication at all, now I have my personal pharmacy. I have pills I take in the morning, at mid day, and at night. Due to widow brain, it's difficult to keep track of them so I got a pill container that has seperate compartments for each day of the week. It's now Sunday morning, which means it's time to refill the weekly container.
I fill all seven compartments, and then retrieve the morning pill. Why did I put it in the container and then…
Continue Stop the world, I want to get off.
Posted on December 15, 2012 at 10:58am 8 Comments 1 Like
This grief journey is an odd thing. Sometimes things are going along calm, or at least as calm as they can be. Then you get hit by something that makes it worse. Other times, you get hit by an avalanche.
Yesterday was an avalanche day for me. First I get to work and look at next week's pay check (we can do that on line.) It seems a bit light, so I look at the deductions. I had changed my deductions to single and this was the first check reflecting that status, I knew more taxes…
ContinueComment Wall (22 comments)
- At 7:55am on April 23, 2013,
Jpswife(Cathy) said… - Praying for you today
- At 2:54pm on April 1, 2013,
Joy said… Alan, just read your story. It was very meaningful, touching and an encouraging open letter. You have written so many of the feelings we have all felt and or are experiencing. I sincerely appreciate your sharing. You are right, somehow we have to find out who we are, like ourselves and rebuild.
- At 3:05am on March 24, 2013, Jpswife(Cathy) said…
- I just read your blog--you just had the 1 year anniversary !'. I'm so sorry for the pain!! I find it SO amazing--God put you on my mind--to write you after I reread my message from June 2012 from you! GOD'S love for US!! He knows you're hurting Alan! And we get to see Elaine & John again!!! HE IS RISEN! Cathy. My 1 yr SADiversary is coming up April 25!
- At 2:45am on March 24, 2013, Jpswife(Cathy) said…
- Hi Alan, I just wanted to say thankyou once more, I just reread a post you sent to me encouraging me!(June 2012) You said " you had 3 monthes to GRIEVE" but in retrospect I realized I actually began grieving when John was diagnosed::;(. So my sad journey began 1 yr 4 mps earlier when he was first diagnosed !
How is your journey now? Cuz I'm not the only one who is hurting !
I'm better---can't wait till I see him again one day in HEAVEN! Cathy
- At 3:07am on January 21, 2013,
Kimsmonkey (Patty) said… Thank you Alan for your help....God knows I need it right now. I know you get it.
- At 3:48pm on January 11, 2013,
janet said… Happy Birthday and have fun.
- At 8:00pm on December 4, 2012,
Lori said… thanks!
- At 11:58am on August 23, 2012,
Sharon said… Hope that this week's return to work has brought some little joyful surprises. I've said a prayer or two for you. Appreciate my new Wvill friends!
- At 10:25pm on August 13, 2012,
Barbie Doll said… Hello Alan. It was a real pleasure to meet you at CW. I would be very happy to join you and other locals for lunch or get togethers:)
- At 7:32pm on July 11, 2012,
grace28 said…
Alan,
You're right about everyone going to Vegas. Maybe we need a Vegas trip!
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