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BarbsWife (Tamera)
  • Female
  • Kansas City, MO
  • United States
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  • Mac
  • Joyce
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Latest Activity

Patience commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Fear
"Tamera, thank you so much for writing... I understand this fear. I'd wake up with would get better as the day went on...Thankfully, this fear did diminish around the one year mark.. or maybe as with grief, I learned how to manage and…"
Aug 19, 2013
Patience liked BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Fear
Aug 19, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) commented on Hope's blog post No! You don't know how I feel.
"I would give anythign to be "divorced" and know that Barb still got to have Her life...and give so much to the lives of others. My only other thoughts are all mean spirited so I will stop there. Hugs. Tamera"
Aug 11, 2013
Wanderer530 (Bernie) commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Fear
"Tamera, Fear is a demon that each and every widow/widower has tasted, swirled, and gulped back down into the bottomless pit of darkness, as it continues to eat away at the ever thinning layer of our stomach lining.  It is what each of us…"
Aug 11, 2013
pumpkin commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Fear
"Oh Tamera, I KNOW that fear. It's the main emotion that I think keeps me stuck where I am. What will happen if I get sick and need care? Who ill be there for me? What does the future look like if I lose my job (a real possibility)? How can I…"
Aug 11, 2013
AEDforever (Ali) commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Is Crying a "disease"?
"Tamera, a lot of people are really uncomfortable around grief.  They want to "fix" it...when nothing really can accept the process of grieving..which of course includes crying.  Anti-depressants can help if someone just cannot…"
Aug 10, 2013
shell commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Not deciding from fear
"oh Tamera I understand the fear it seems to go round and round in my head with every decision I think I need to make. I to cannot handle this big house and 10 acres by myself. Its the upkeep that is to much. In my heart I know I must sell, Jon…"
Aug 10, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 60s
"CA:  I am so sorry for your loss.  It is extremely hard to face the prospect of not getting the life "we planned" with our lover, soul mates, best friends, spouses... For me, a little over four months in, I still face one day at…"
Aug 9, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) liked Mac's blog post Hi Honey
Aug 9, 2013
sunchaser commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Is Crying a "disease"?
"BarbsWife (Tamera) I am in the same boat as you and feel in my 2 1/2 years of grief I'm doing pretty good as well.  I live in a little rancher on a fair piece of property and have had trees cutback, house painted, now a new roof is going…"
Aug 8, 2013
halfofawhole (lynn) commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Is Crying a "disease"?
"Yes, I agree.  The drs wanna shove pills at me.  Or I need to talk.  Even recommended inpatient therapy.  Ok, so I am sad. My heart is broken, my life has stopped.  Let me be sad, let me cry. Crying is normal, healing even.…"
Aug 8, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) updated their profile
Aug 7, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) commented on Soaring Spirits's group Long-term illness
"Renee: On April 1, 2013, I lost my partner of 16 years (Barb) after an 18 month battle with cancer. She was 58; I am 49. I resonate completely with the desire to "make her proud". Barb was kind, generous, lovely, joyous and…"
Aug 7, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2013
"Grannie59 (Cher) Thanks for sharing your story with made me cry (for a change :-). I am glad you are taking care of yourself and know that husband would be proud and happy for you. It is an enormous gift to know that you loved your husband so…"
Aug 7, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) commented on TamilovesTim's blog post Damn sneak attacks!
"Sneak attacks are terrible and for me they are just as you describe--I get a an ache in my heart that feels like it is literally unbearable , want to throw up, and then burst into tears. I am at just over 4 months..don't think this ) or 5…"
Aug 7, 2013
BarbsWife (Tamera) commented on BarbsWife (Tamera)'s blog post Is Crying a "disease"?
"Mac.  Thanks for  sharing your experience with tears.   I love your response to your daughter and hopefully she will let herself cry when she needs to.  Remember the Marlo Thomas song  "It's alright to cry, crying…"
Aug 6, 2013

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BarbsWife (Tamera)'s Blog


Posted on August 10, 2013 at 9:30am 4 Comments

In the 4+ months since Barb has died (and even before when she was very sick), I have given a lot of thought to moving out of our house to another smaller, easier to care for house.  It is hard to consider...I love our/my house, and I live in a neighborhood where I "know everyone" --when I walk my dog , I always run into people who I talk to, and sometimes have a glass or wine or beer with.  My immediate neighbors are close friends who I share dinner and many good laughs with.  Although I…


Is Crying a "disease"?

Posted on August 5, 2013 at 5:45pm 5 Comments

I feel like I have been doing pretty damn well on this sh*&&^ journey I am on.   For most days in the past 4 months since losing Barb I have exercised, cooked for myself, seen friends, kept the house up and even worked some.   I am taking on some tasks (like cleaning out closets) that I could not even think of two months ago without wanting to hurl.    I have had a few days where I have curled up and done nothing but really, very few.   So, why is that when I cry, which…


The Anniversay Gift

Posted on July 26, 2013 at 2:00am 1 Comment

I have been very fortunate to spend the entire month of July at an apartment on the beach where my dog and I walk 2 hours every morning, in and out of the waves. (She runs and chases the ball the entire time). I have family who live within a mile of here and see them often in the evenings but I have deliberately chosen to spend most of this time alone, recovering from the 19 months of Barb's caregiving and her recent death in April. As I get ready to pack up and return home to m friends, my… Continue

One foot at a where?

Posted on July 23, 2013 at 3:30pm 2 Comments

It has now been almost 4 months since I lost my partner after an 18 month fight with cancer. Her brave battle with cancer and subsequent death left me exhausted but determined to continue to live for both of us. Barb would have given anything for one more sunrise, one more walk, one more day..and she would have shown gratitude for that day in a thousand ways as she did every day of her life. As she did to me.

So....every day I am putting one foot in front of the other... walking miles and… Continue

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At 6:17pm on May 14, 2013, Joyce said…

Welcome Barbswife: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"


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