"Oh my fellow friends - please be so gentle with yourself. You are in those very early days of suffering. They are suffocating. They seem endless. And the further away you get from their last time of physical presence,…"
A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
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KitKat
- Female
- Moorpark, CA
- United States
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KitKat commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 70s
"And my response to all those who ask if I am dating or wonder if I ever will again - my response is "No I am not. I don't know if I ever will. I was loved enough for one lifetime and I will not settle just to end the…"
KitKat commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 70s
"Hi new friends to the 70s group. I don't often comment but read each and every post. You make me feel like I am normal and not alone every day. My husband died of lung cancer in November of 2010 making me a widow at…"
KitKat commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Military Families
"Su - make sure you renew before your ID expires. We are fortunate to have a military base nearby but during my husband's illness, we failed to get his truck or my van stickers renewed and then I noticed one day that my ID had…"
KitKat commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Military families
"Welcome new friends! I am so sorry for the loss of your spouses. This new life just plain sucks at times but at 19 months out, I am learning to live with happiness again. It just takes time and hard work. But as much as I love this website to chat…"
KitKat replied to Brian's discussion Girlfriend doesn't like to see picture of my late wife
"Kudos to you for dating again. I'm envious. I'm not there yet. I've have two friends (one widower, one widow) who have married again (not to each other - both married people who had been divored). I…"
KitKat liked judy's event Justin's Birthday - March 7, 2012
KitKat replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Widow Brain: have you done anything DUMB or unusual?
"Last Friday..I was paying for something and they asked to see my ID...it's gone. No idea where. But then I think of us on this site and thought...it will turn up. Don't panic.
Sunday...putting out the trash. …"
KitKat commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 70s
"Oh how we all struggle with why. I will struggle with this until my own dying day. There was so much life yet to live and there is now so much life for me to live without him by my side that sometimes it is overwhelming. However, last week, I read…"
Marsha commented on KitKat's blog post Christmas 2011 - the second Christmas
"Hope you have a wonderful vacation. Peace and blessings for the new year."
Joe's Jenn commented on KitKat's blog post Christmas 2011 - the second Christmas
"Enjoy your vacation! I hope that you are able to enjoy yourself! "
twinsmum commented on KitKat's blog post Christmas 2011 - the second Christmas
"Enjoy Kitkat....I too didn't think Christmas was that bad last year possibly as I was still in shock mode. This year does feel a lot more emotional (possibly because I have also been doing 10 weeks of group counselling). Well at…"
DonnaReid commented on KitKat's blog post Christmas 2011 - the second Christmas
"I hope your vacation brings you much peace!"
Profile Information
My story
For how I got here...the cring bridge website is the best description...I hate writing about how I got here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/allenfamilyCharles was my one personal hero. A Marine veteran. A father. A lover. A friend. I miss him so much. We had 14 really fun years together, 3 of which were marred by Lung Cancer. He died at the age of 49. I am 39. All throughout the first year without him I mostly existed and read and occasionally tried to have fun but now I am trying to learn how to live without him. I really want to live and thrive again. I have three kids: my 22 step-daughter M and two boys, G who is 10 and P who is 6. I am an active mother and love my kids fiercely. I do not want to date. I only want to live a life that he would be proud of.
KitKat's Blog
Christmas 2011 - the second Christmas
Posted on December 16, 2011 at 9:23am 4 Comments 0 Likes
Last year I was numb. My brother and sister flew in for Thanksgiving, 3 weeks after he died to help me "put up Christmas". I had lights in the front yard, our decorations all over the house. It didn't hurt that bad becuase I didn't realize then that I was a walking zombie. I had no feelings...I was in shock. This year....I feel EVERYTHING. I have exactly 5 decorations in the house this year. I hate listening to Christmas music. I shopped out of obligation and not out of desire to see…
Continue Do I decorate?
Posted on November 13, 2011 at 10:09am 8 Comments 0 Likes
We are running away for both holidays this year and the kids want to decorate. It's our second set of holidays but he died nov 7th 2010 and we were just plain numb the first time. I don't want to say no to the kids but I also don't want to drag out memories that I don't need to drag out yet. What do I do? I only have so much precious energy
Comment Wall (2 comments)
- At 1:12am on June 13, 2011,
Dianne in Nevada said… 
Pleased you found us, Catherine. There are two other groups you may want to join that will connect you with other parents:
- At 12:12am on June 13, 2011,
wannabmartha said… So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others. Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help.
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
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Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
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