"I was the Maid of Honour for my best friends wedding a month after Chris died. I had such bad anxiety that whole day and my stomach was in knots, but I knew Chris would want me to be there for them and to help make their day special so I did my…"
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Kiki8
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Is there something wrong with me?
Started this discussion. Last reply by Kiki8 Dec 21, 2012. 4 Replies 0 Likes
Christmas day will mark 6 months since my fiance Chris was killed in a work accident. Our daughter turned 10 months on the 14th.... Chris and I had a whirlwind romance (met April 8 2011, pregnant by…Continue
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Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 80s
"Today was my 2nd Mother’s day and my 1st without Chris… I miss him so much and can’t believe we are coming up on 11mo already. We spent the day with my sis, bil and niece and then had our other sister, her friend and our mom over…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Unwedded widows & widowers
"Today was my 2nd Mother’s day and my 1st without Chris… I miss him so much and can’t believe we are coming up on 11mo already. We spent the day with my sis, bil and niece and then had our other sister, her friend and our mom over…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2012
"Today was my 2nd Mother’s day and my 1st without Chris… I miss him so much and can’t believe we are coming up on 11mo already. We spent the day with my sis, bil and niece and then had our other sister, her friend and our mom over…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"Today was my 2nd Mother’s day and my 1st without Chris… I miss him so much and can’t believe we are coming up on 11mo already. We spent the day with my sis, bil and niece and then had our other sister, her friend and our mom over…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Unwedded widows & widowers
"The 25th marked 10 months... today was the National Day of Mourning, dedicated those who lost their lives in a workplace accident or illness. I was asked to lay the wreath for Chris which I did with our daughter Ellis at a ceremony held at our main…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"The 25th marked 10 months... today was the National Day of Mourning, dedicated those who lost their lives in a workplace accident or illness. I was asked to lay the wreath for Chris which I did with our daughter Ellis at a ceremony held at our main…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2012
"The 25th marked 10 months... today was the National Day of Mourning, dedicated those who lost their lives in a workplace accident or illness. I was asked to lay the wreath for Chris which I did with our daughter Ellis at a ceremony held at our main…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Unwedded widows & widowers
"I am just coming up to the 10 month mark on the 25th, and for many of those first months I couldn't wait to be with Chris again and I had no fear of death other than leaving our baby girl. I have been thinking about this again lately and now I…"
Kiki8 replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Sorry that you are here! My fiancé was killed in a work accident 06/25/2012 at the age of 28 and our daughter was only 4mo old at the time. I just turned 28 and our daughter turned 1 on Valentine's day. This is so hard and so unfair.…"
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Unwedded widows & widowers
"Sorry for your loss Kristie :( My fiancé Chris was killed in a work accident 06/25/2012 and we have a now 14mo old daughter. We would have been married this summer and it still feels so unreal to me. I still feel like he will come home."
Kiki8 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 80s
"I got a tattoo a couple of weeks after Chris' accident. It is our daughter's first and middle name on my left forearm (elbow to wrist). It is the exact tattoo Chris wanted but didn't get the chance so I got it for him. I added a heart…"
Kiki8 replied to DonnaReid's discussion Psychic Mediums
"I have had 2 private readings with 1 medium where I live which I really enjoyed and believe it was Chris communicating with me. Last week I went to a group reading being done by another local medium who is quite well known with a friend…"
Kiki8 commented on MrsD's blog post So angry and hurt
"I have been in a similar situation with Chris' mom... we weren't married and he had filled out the paperwork to give me 80% and his mom 20% but then changed it without telling me for reasons I do not know to 60/40 for me. When I informed…"
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Wedding Dreams
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:26pm 2 Comments 2 Likes
Chris and I did not get the chance to get married. We were engaged but I did not have a ring b/c I wouldn't let him spend the money (we had a baby on the way). The night before he was killed, he looked at me and said we should get married next summer. I agreed and it was a start. I wasn't in a rush b/c I thought we had time. He was the man of my dreams and daydreamed of our wedding daily, but we weren't in a position to spend money on that yet.
All of my wedding dreams were meant for…
Anxiety filled days
Posted on February 18, 2013 at 10:13pm 1 Comment 0 Likes
So our daughter turned 1yr old on Valentine's day. I hated that her daddy wasn't here to spend it with her. It's so unfair. I had her party yesterday which went great and we had a major house full. I was too busy to really dwell on the fact that Chris wasn't here but it was still on mind. Friday I went with my dad who came in for the party to get supplies and I had severe anxiety while in Costco and didn't have my Ativan with me (I haven't used it in a couple of months)... Had anxiety on…
Continue Defense Mechanism?
Posted on January 22, 2013 at 9:00pm 4 Comments 0 Likes
While at my counselling session today I mentioned that I still largely feel that Chris is going to come home. She suggested that it may be a way of keeping myself together.. and that stuck with me. It also worries me that one day I am not going to feel like he is coming home, and I am going to fall apart. When Chris died I had a 4 month old baby to take care of, so I couldn't stay in bed and cry all day. I had to get up and eat, etc b/c she needs me to take care of her. Don't get me wrong, I…
Continue Memories
Posted on January 15, 2013 at 3:09am 2 Comments 1 Like
All day long I think about Chris... Things we did...talked about...dreamed about...
I don't wantbto forget a single detail of our very short time together. We only had 15 months together so I have a limited amout.... But the best thing we did was not waste time starting a family. Our daughter will be 1 on Valentine's day and she is the most amazing gift he could have given me. I cherish her every moment ofbthe day b/c no one but Chris could have given her to me.
I just wanted to share… Continue
I don't wantbto forget a single detail of our very short time together. We only had 15 months together so I have a limited amout.... But the best thing we did was not waste time starting a family. Our daughter will be 1 on Valentine's day and she is the most amazing gift he could have given me. I cherish her every moment ofbthe day b/c no one but Chris could have given her to me.
I just wanted to share… Continue
Comment Wall (14 comments)
- At 2:40am on March 22, 2013,
covdebbie said… Thank you for your kindness and understanding.
- At 9:42am on February 14, 2013,
Bonnie said… Hi, I sympathise with you so much and can relate to your situation. My husband went to work and never came back and died as a result of a farming accident on the 17th July, 2012. We had so much to look forward to. He will be 50 on Monday 18th Feb so this is another milestone. Today is a really bad day and I can't stop crying just thinking of what the future holds.
- At 3:57pm on January 25, 2013,
ElijahsMommy (Jessica) said… Its not something that any of us ever want to imagine ourselves going through. Its a year later and I still have days where I think he is going to come home. I often wonder what he would think of Elijah and how he would interact with him. I am here to talk anytime you would like. I am also on facebook if you would like to chat there.
- At 3:28pm on January 10, 2013,
angeliqueb4 said… Thank you for the friend request. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My son was 2-1/2 years old when his daddy died in an accident. He just celebrated his third birthday.
Let me know if you ever want to chat.
- At 2:30pm on January 7, 2013, ElijahsMommy (Jessica) said…
So sorry for your loss. My husband also passed away when my son was 4 months old. He is now sixteen months old. It will be a year on Thursday that he passed away.
- At 8:02pm on November 30, 2012,
D&D (Debra) said… - So sorry for your loss. I know what your feeling. My Duane passed away on Oct 23rd. Here if you need..take care
- At 11:52pm on October 16, 2012,
Juls said… Hi Kiki8,
Love all your photos. What a sweet looking man and your baby is precious. I'm so sorry for your loss. Go to grief counseling or join a group in a couple of months or whatever you need to do to surround yourself with understanding and people who get it. There is no substitute for being with other women who are grieving the loss of their soulmate. God bless you. I hope you find some moments of peace with your daughter. Juls
- At 5:38am on October 12, 2012,
smit09 said… Kiki8
hey girl!
thanks for befriending me. I can remember being at 3.5 months... the feeling of 'still waiting for him to come home' ...yeah... unfortunately that feeling doesnt go away. Time is the craziest thing when grieving, it literally makes NO sense.
your photos are gorgeous. precious. so precious to be able to look back at those eh? so sorry sweet lady,... stay strong.
msg me whenever.
this totally sux, but we're in it together.
- At 5:45pm on September 23, 2012,
Sharona said… Hi Kiki8-
Welcome... I too am a single momma and my fiance passed away suddenly when our daughter was 11mths old. I know exactly how you are feeling right now and I am so sorry. It is so sad for our daughters that they will not remember their wonderful fathers, but the only choice we have is to be strong for them and somehow figure out how to do it all by ourselves, and do it well.
Hang in there :-)
Sharon
- At 10:39am on September 23, 2012,
suebru (Sue) said… Hi Kiki8, I am sorry for your loss. I hope you will find comfort, love and suport at WV like myself and so many others have. Big hugs, Sue
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