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  • Female
  • Saskatoon
  • Canada
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Maddieluv's Blog

Will we ever be okay?

Posted on February 28, 2017 at 9:10am 6 Comments

Most days I just feel anxious now. I have a constant ache in my stomach. The feeling sad is just sort of normal now so I can't imagine it going away anytime soon. Sometimes it surprises me what will make me cry, or have that intense wave of loneliness. Sometimes I just feel cold, like I'm going through the motions but not really present. Then I feel bad. I have four children to care for who need me to be present. I'm thankful to have that purpose because I think if it were just me I wouldn't…


We had a last day, we just didn't know it

Posted on February 26, 2017 at 5:38pm 3 Comments

Today has been three weeks since I last spoke with my husband. Three week since I last heard his voice, felt his touch or enjoyed his calm presence. Every day there are new challenges and frustrations. I hit new depths of sadness and new levels of irritation that I never thought were possible. My thoughts race with what if's, fears and memories. With the ambush of unwanted thoughts and emotions I thought starting a blog would be a way to let some of those feelings out. Put them somewhere to…


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