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Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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MrsD's Discussions

I can't stand the guilt

Started this discussion. Last reply by jillhk Jan 13, 2013. 14 Replies

My husband died of liver failure almost four weeks ago. He was an alcoholic; I knew that, but he somehow convinced me and himself he could handle drinking socially. I knew that wasn't right, but I…Continue

What am I supposed to be doing?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Sabra Jan 4, 2013. 12 Replies

My husband died three weeks ago. All I want to do is crawl into our bed and sob until I die basically. But I have a three month old daughter. So I have to take care if her. Also, I had to go back to…Continue


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I am stretched on your grave
And I'll lie there forever
If your hands were in mine
I'd be sure they could not sever
My apple tree, my brightness
It's time we were together
For I smell of the earth
And am worn by the weather

When my family thinks
That I'm safely in my bed
From morn until night
I am stretched out at your head
Calling out to the earth
With tears hot and wild
My grief for the boy
That I loved as a child

Do you remember the night we were lost
In the shade of the blackthorn
And the chill of frost
And thanks be to Jesus
We did all that was right
And your maiden head still
Is your pillar of light

The priests and the friars
They approach me in dread
Because I still love you
My love and you're dead
I still would be your shelter
Through rain and through storm
And with you in your cold grave
I cannot sleep warm

So I am stretched on your grave
And will lie there forever
If your hands were in mine
I'd be sure they could not sever
My apple tree, my brightness
It's time we were together
For I smell of the earth
And am worn by the weather

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MrsD's Blog

Just one

Posted on April 14, 2013 at 11:49am 2 Comments

There are so many things that we didn't even get one of as a family. We didn't get one Mother's day, or Father's day. Not one of our daughter's birthday. No Halloween, no Fourth of July. Not one single holiday at all. Not one trip to the park, or the zoo. Not one. We never had a family portrait; the only pictures of the three of us were taken right after my c-section while I was still on the table. We never all three got to play together, she was so young when he died. We never all laughed…


Yoko Ono

Posted on April 11, 2013 at 12:57pm 6 Comments

"What healing? That's another thing most people don't know, but the widows of the world will know. Losing a husband is something you can't shake. It's not just a feeling of missing him. It's something more that could never heal. His loss will always stay."- Yoko Ono

I've been thinking a lot about Yoko Ono. What she went through. What she still goes through. How she continues to nourish her husband's memory, living in the Dakota, celebrating him with events. How, despite her loss, she… Continue

So angry and hurt

Posted on March 29, 2013 at 6:59am 4 Comments

My husband had very little life insurance, just a basic policy at work. He did have a more substantial retirement payout, not huge but with some careful planning I could make it work. However, he signed up before we were married, and divided it up equally between myself and his mother. Okay, that makes sense, we weren't married after all. I believe he then just forgot about change it. It happens all the time. I explained the situation to my MIL, and she agreed that she would turn the money over… Continue

Shouldn't feel this way but I do

Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:09pm 6 Comments

Every once in a while I think about what Dan would do if our roles were reversed. Specifically, if he would date or get married again. And I think he would. He was very popular with the ladies. Women were always flirting with him and he would have no problem meeting someone. I also think he would figure, my wife is dead, and I'm alive, so it's fine to love again.

This really upsets me. I know that you're supposed to feel that you would want your spouse to move on and be happy, but I… Continue

Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 3:49am on January 19, 2013, Mford4 (Marlene) said…

Hi MrsD.  So much of your posts are how i feel too and it has been 10 months since I lost Pat.  I just blogged about how someone said my memories should give me comfort.  Maybe someday but for now they are painful because they just remind me of what I have lost.  I am finding that if I keep moving and doing than I fall exhausted into time to think.  I am glad you are searching for a new therapist.  They all don't fit right and the hard part is finding the right one.

At 5:56pm on January 11, 2013, gypsie123 said…

I agree with you, and I am not mad at people,and because I think I am older than you, I do appreciate their calls, concern,but you are right in the fact that for god's sake nothing, nobody as loving as they can be , and caring can replace the hole in your heart, ultimately, it is our loss, the love of our lives, our best friend,bitterness,and anger won't change that, I don't think,maybe ,a widow of a 31 years relationship,little by little he realisation that the one you loved,in his own way,demands for you to carry on,because your love was not in vain and carry on for others. Many people do not ever have that luck, to be loved , and love, so ,the missing is there, in a deep way,but can be maybe transcended to love passed on. not great comfort, but helps a bit I think?

At 5:38am on November 10, 2012, maddalena said…
Hi MrsD I am here but haven't felt as comfy as on YWBB. Thanks for finding me.
At 6:44pm on November 2, 2012, flohog said…

Yup, I'm the same flohog on YWBB....I recognize you too

At 10:14am on November 2, 2012, Lori said…

Thanks for sending the friend request, This place has helped me so much again so sorry for your lose.  take care

At 8:24am on November 1, 2012, bj628(Bonnie) said…

 Oh, by the Way.. I love Snoopy.  On my old car I had the decal , the same one you have as your pix...

At 8:21am on November 1, 2012, bj628(Bonnie) said…

Thank you for your friend request. I am so sorry for the reason you

are here, but I am so happy you found WV.  sending ((((((hugs)))))

At 3:52pm on October 15, 2012, LaurieR said…

Hello MrsD.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I never really know what to say but welcome to  this site. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.  I will do my best to help you.  I will send you a friend request, if you wish you can accept


At 6:13pm on October 13, 2012, Joyce said…

Welcome MrsD: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".

At 6:31pm on October 10, 2012, wannabmartha said…

So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others.  Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help.


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