I hear you on not knowing what kind of a mood you will be in from one day to the next. And the Jackal and Hyde...lol too funny but right on point with how it feels sometimes. I have been in a bad way this whole month...last year I was on a vacation in Mexico for our 10th wedding anniversary...its almost unbearable to think of how happy he and I were around this time last year. But somehow we keep treading on. I hate to say if but I am looking forward to this month/year being over in general.
Hello and so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I lost mine suddenly without warning from a heart attack 7 months ago. I remember feeling like your feeling. With 7 months now gone by it has not gotten better but different. My heart was broken into a million pieces back in April but I am slowly putting my heart back together again. I do my best everyday to make him proud of me by trying to live each day as he would have wanted me to. I have some days were I am ashamed at how I am living (really not living but angry/pissed at the universe for taking him) and days were I know I have made him proud by taking a breath and step towards what future lies ahead for me. That is really what gets me through this nightmare. I don't think we will ever be the people we were, a piece will always be missing but I also believe that our husbands are with us and watching over us.