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  • Glastonbury, CT
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Celeste3 commented on Paula's blog post Looking back from the perspective of 5 years
"Thank your sharing this, only a year for me and I am all over the place , love this post."
May 22
Freebird commented on Paula's blog post Looking back from the perspective of 5 years
"This is marvelous. Thank you. I just passed the 15 year mark in October. I was surprised at how hard "another number of years" hit me. I'm back on track again. We all have those moments."
Nov 27, 2019

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Paula's Blog

Once and again the widow in the room The slow dance

Posted on July 22, 2015 at 5:50pm 19 Comments

 It has been five long years, and boy have they been long. I have worked really really hard to rebuild my shattered life.  Most of the time I am in a pretty good place. I won’t go into everything I have been thru and done, because we are here on this site and we have been there.  The ability to abbreviate my story in this space is one that I have really begun to appreciate.  Going to weddings has got to be one of the worst widow activities next to planning…


Looking back from the perspective of 5 years

Posted on June 2, 2015 at 6:33pm 17 Comments

This was a milestone year. 5 years. how it happened I don't know I think the below makes so much sense where I am right now

I did not write this but I think that after five years these are indeed the things I have learned. I wish I knew who wrote it because I would give them credit, but whoever wrote it really gets it.

A time finally comes when you "get it" ... when, in the midst of all your tears and insanity you stop in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head…


Valentines day

Posted on February 13, 2015 at 4:10pm 1 Comment

 It is the stupidest fucking day of the year. It is DESIGNED to make everyone partnered or not to feel bad about what they give or what they get. Top that together with the NOT STOP COVERAGE of Fifty Shades of Stupid and I am ready to punch a baby. I cannot believe that a book that celebrates a woman abdicating control of her life when we ALL LOST CONTROL of our lives. I wish that someone would talk about sitting there watching my husband…


When do I stop having widow problems or is it always widow problems.

Posted on July 26, 2014 at 2:00pm 6 Comments

Right after Bill died I had a lot of problems. Tons of them, millions of them, and all of them, each and every one directly related to his death.  I was in the Hole. They ranged from a soul crushing paralyzing depression to the inability to open my garage door after a snow storm (of course I could not remove the snow) and power failure.  I had an old car with a lot of problems. I had lost my job and my career of over 29 years was over. Most of my friends went on what I call the widow…


Comment Wall (19 comments)

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At 4:13am on May 6, 2015, laurazav said…

HI Paula - I am glad that you reached out to me.  I live in Bloomfield. 

At 11:54am on March 5, 2015, leendah said…

thank you Paula for what you said about dating and that one can find love again........and I do think it should start from a friend level that could lead to more........(hopefully)

At 10:38pm on June 21, 2014, Damianino! said…

Great,I feel a coincidental meting works better.  I advised some of the members to start some kind of activity in the community or the next nearest town and see where it leads.  Whatever it is you could ask to be taught or teach someone and see what goes from there.  Cheers.  I haven't started dating as I am just still too raw, three months out since i lost my soul mate! I will get there! Cheers and nice talking with you

At 9:27pm on June 20, 2014, Damianino! said…

Hi Paula,

I was going over the dating page and saw your initial failed attempts with the date sites!  That was several years ago.  I am sure you are dating steady now.  I am quite new...3 months out since my wife passed and well. i don't know

At 5:03pm on June 11, 2014, Morgana (Janet) said…

You can post them here or e-mail them to me at [email protected]

I would love to see what you did. Hopefully it will give me some ideas with mine and I bet it looks awesome.

At 4:29pm on February 13, 2014, onyourMARK said…

My husband was a Chatham "native".  I am a "washashore".  I came here to work one summer, met him, and never left. I love Chatham.

At 4:31am on July 11, 2013, LJ1 said…
Hi Paula - we should have coffee sometime - Starbucks?
At 6:27pm on March 22, 2013, Andrea S. said…

Ciao Paula! I do remember you and your dancing daughter! Thanks for being in touch.  How is life?  My son and I are moving forward. Some practical things have gotten better in life. Some are still a challenge. Namely - la famiglia. ;(- in fact I just posted a reply on the topic in a forum.  I am still holding my ground. :)  I am taking my son to weekly Italian class -to honor the best of my husband's traditions.  Will you attend Camp Widow West again?   Un abbraccio, Andrea

At 3:36pm on January 5, 2013, alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) said…

Hi Paula. Thanks  very much for the suggestion on where to meet others. Take care!

At 6:23pm on June 11, 2012,
Soaring Spirits

Big hug to you today, friend... miss you! Let's catch up soon. XOX


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