I am very sorry for your loss. I still visit this site every once in a while and only comment occasionally.
It is comforting to learn that what we feel and experience on this journey of grief is shared by many. However, we each have our own unique situation and outlook.
I lost my sweetie 4-1/2 years ago after she battled cancer for 8 years. The pain of losing her after 34-1/2 years of marriage was unthinkable. The finality of it all is so hard to accept. In fact, I found myself fighting to not accept it. Everything changes and nothing is certain. People would tell me that "at least I had time to prepare". What fools! They have no idea!
I can't even imagine what you have been through with the sudden loss of your husband. My wish for you is that you never lose hope by taking baby steps and just doing the "next thing". However small or large, just do the "next thing". For me it was doing laundry or making eggs for breakfast. Thinking that way helps me keep going. That said, I still have plenty of those good, hard cries that honor what my wife and I had.