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Steve
  • Male
  • San Diego, CA
  • United States
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Steve's Friends

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  • Hawky (Rebekah)
  • shaunamont
  • Howie gates
  • Packerfanlyn
  • Markus
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  • Hornet (Cindy)
  • BESTBUDS1 [Norman}
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Steve's Discussions

Anybody experiencing sexual problems with new spouse after being widower?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Sep 16, 2015. 4 Replies

Hi everybody. My name is Steve and I was partnered to the same man over 30 yrs, until his passing in 2009 from cancer. We were both in our teens when we committed to each other and I loved him very…Continue

Are you in process of moving on, creating a new life after the loss of your spouse?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Jun 10, 2015. 18 Replies

Hello, my name is Steve and my long time male life partner passed in March 2009, from an 18 month battle with stage 4 colon cancer. We had just celebrated our 30th anniversary the prior January…Continue

 

Steve's Page

Latest Activity

Steve commented on Steve's blog post Do I REALLY want to find love again?
"Hi Diane, absolutely, and thank you!   Sorry to hear about your moms depression.  Yes, I have to take a bunch of breaks away, when I’m home w mom.  She drives me crazy too.  But when I’ve discussed the issues w her,…"
Oct 12
Patience commented on Steve's blog post Do I REALLY want to find love again?
"Hi Steve, Thank you for your update. I'm sorry about the way things were with Chris. So very very sorry. He sounded really great, but Addiction is the hardest worst thing! I'm wishing you strength. Two of Wayne's cousins had drug…"
Oct 12
Steve commented on Rkay's blog post Happy Anniversary..
"Hi RKay Thanks for your post, so sorry for your loss.  I understand your thoughts and feelings you share here.  I’m coming up on my 40th anniversary date, and my 10th year anniversary of being a widower.   Life has gotten easier…"
Oct 7
Steve commented on Steve's blog post Do I REALLY want to find love again?
"Hi again, Diane.  Thank you!   I TOTALLY get your trepidation about another relationship.  I’m there now too.  Yes, I still have mom w me.  I’ve looked into options for mom to move into a care intensive place,…"
Sep 23
Patience commented on Steve's blog post Do I REALLY want to find love again?
"Steve, thank for writing from your heart. Cheers to you for being so brave as to try another relationship with Chris after Mike passed away. I am hoping to find that motivation! But I'm  not sure if I want another relationship. However,…"
Sep 22
Steve commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Sex
"Hi, I soooo understand that!  I too miss that so much.  When I’m partnered, I’m VERY affectionate, very touchy-feely, lots and lots of kisses, hugs, affection.  Thank goodness both my partners were like that too.  I…"
Sep 18
Steve commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Sex
"Hi Miss Em.  Wow, I really admire your bringing up this topic.  Everyone has there own ideas about this subject, I personally feel that everybody needs to live as they want to, and do what makes them happy.  I’m not really sure…"
Sep 17
Steve commented on Steve's blog post Do I REALLY want to find love again?
"Hi Callie2!  Thanks so much for your note.  I truly appreciate it.  I agree 100% it’s about living today, and continueing the pursuit of being content, happy. i wish you good luck in those pursuits as well.  I’m so…"
Sep 17
Callie2 commented on Steve's blog post Do I REALLY want to find love again?
"I understand what you say about losing your “tribe”. I’ve lost many or have known many that have passed—family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. I miss them all. We’re forced to face our own mortality but we can also…"
Sep 17
Steve posted a blog post

Do I REALLY want to find love again?

Hello all.  This is Steve again.  In case you haven’t read my prior posts, I was partnered close to 31 years to a man I loved very much, mike, my best friend, partner in life.  He passed in March of 09 from stage 4 cancer at 50 yrs old.  I was 46 when he passed.  I am now 56 years old.  I, as maybe many of you, have experienced a lot of loss.  In the past 10 years, besides my partner, have had about 10 of our inner circle pass away as well.  It’s really been a bizarre decade.  My absolute best…See More
Sep 17
Steve commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post The right time for everything
"Hi Miss Em.  You are doing things right, just the way that is right for you and your children!  For me, it was approx 18 months before I moved Mikes things out of our bedroom.  At that time, I couldn’t bare to give anything…"
Sep 17
Steve commented on Steve's blog post 9.5 years into my journey after Mike.
"Hi Diane, so nice to hear from you.  Drop me a note sometime, let me know how things are going.  What’s new? take care, Steve"
Sep 14
Patience commented on Steve's blog post 9.5 years into my journey after Mike.
"Steve, you have such a clear way of expressing yourself! Glad you are doing well. I know it's been a tough road, but you have handled all the challenges life has thrown your way.  You are an inspiration ((((Hugs))))) Diane "
Sep 13
Steve commented on Steve's blog post 9.5 years into my journey after Mike.
"Hi bblue5 and Misty Thanks so much for your comments and thoughts.  Truly appreciate it. take care, Steve"
Sep 13
Steve updated their profile
Sep 13
Rainy (Misty) commented on Steve's blog post 9.5 years into my journey after Mike.
"It sounds as if you know exactly what you need to do for YOU and that is a WONDERFUL thing.  Best wishes for a bright and cheery life, and who knows maybe the third time is a charm!  I feel like as long as your happy with yourself the rest…"
Sep 4

Profile Information

Steve's Blog

Do I REALLY want to find love again?

Posted on September 17, 2018 at 1:58am 6 Comments

Hello all.  

This is Steve again.  In case you haven’t read my prior posts, I was partnered close to 31 years to a man I loved very much, mike, my best friend, partner in life.  He passed in March of 09 from stage 4 cancer at 50 yrs old.  I was 46 when he passed.  

I am now 56 years old.  I, as maybe many of you, have experienced a lot of loss.  In the past 10 years, besides my partner, have had about 10 of our inner circle pass away as well.  It’s really been a bizarre decade.…

Continue

9.5 years into my journey after Mike.

Posted on September 2, 2018 at 9:01pm 4 Comments

Hello everyone,

I’m Steve, and I’ve been a long time member here, since about 18 months after my long time male life partner passed in March of 09.  Ours was an amazing love story, fraught with big challenges, Mike was bi-polar, drug and alcohol abuser at times, we met and fell in love in our teens, we had zero support from our families, 

so, we chose to move out on our own and create a life for ourselves.  In our early twenties, we decided enough of drugs, parties, it was time…

Continue

Comment Wall (12 comments)

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At 5:26am on November 12, 2017, Hornet (Cindy) said…

Hello, Steve. Yes, those waves of grief are still out there, aren't they? They roll over me from time to time as well...but like you said...they come less often than they used to. I wonder often what my life is now...what it should be. It makes me feel lost and alone. But when I reflect more deeply, I remember that I asked those questions of myself before I lost Rick. The only difference is that I had Rick to talk all of these deep life questions out with. Now, I rely on myself...and sometimes, on friends and family, to discuss the deeper life questions. (Though it isn't nearly as meaningful as it was with my sweet husband.) I am grateful, as you say so frequently, I am grateful for the 32 years I had with Rick. His impact on my life is so very profound that I can barely describe it in words. In fact, the depth of the impact can't be described...it can only be felt...remembered...cherished...used to make today better. Yes...I am grateful. And that alone makes these days afterward more bearable. Thank you, Steve. (By the way, I just love the picture of you and Mike. When I look at it, I see love.) Cindy

At 3:54pm on May 2, 2015, Hornet (Cindy) said…

Hello, Steve. Thank you for the nice comment on my post. I am about 20 months out...that seems so strange typing that number...20. It surprises me how unreal it still feels...almost 2 years out. Before it was me in these shoes, I would have thought the 'new' life would have taken over by now. Now I know.

I was reading your posts and understand that your Mike passed several years ago. Isn't it a miraculous thing how two human beings can meld together so completely at the heart? And when one goes, how completely it devastates the other? I was so spiritually wounded when Rick died, I could hardly speak. And now, here I am...just floating around. (That's how it feels...just floating.)

I wish you peace, Steve. Peace and love and healing.

At 8:16am on February 22, 2015, rosamore (Kamala) said…

Hello Steve,  I have been reading your posts since I joined WV last year.  My husband passed away three months ago.   Your posts are so uplifting with positive thoughts which I surely need it. So happy to read you found someone that you are happy again.  That is wonderful. Keep posting positive posts it will lift everyone spirit.  

At 9:37am on January 5, 2015, Markus said…
Nice to meet you steve
At 11:49am on June 28, 2014, Patience said…
Steve, read your post on the 2009 board about your parents. My mom is home and my step dad is in the nursing home. I don't think you need a lawyer to do what your lawyer friend suggested. You can do it on your Own. Take Mom with you and go to the Board of social services, or wherever in California is the equivalent to the NJ board that puts people on Medicaid. My 83 year old mom actually did it on her OWN with barely any help from me. I was just her cheerleader and helper. I'll be happy to answer any of your questions. Diane
At 6:35pm on December 17, 2012, Hopeful said…
Steve, he is leaving you signs! Gives me goosebumps. Wow. I pray for signs every day. When we are open to them, I believe we will receive them. I loved the blue hair story... those memories are gifts. Take good care.
At 6:18pm on November 8, 2012, MissingRKK said…

Steve, your writing is so magnificent. I pounce on your posts--for your open-heart, your honesty, your humor, your willingness to go deep and not hold back. You have a gift and you feel like a gift to me. I thank you, dearly.

Carrie (MissingRKK)

At 7:51am on September 28, 2012, Suz said…

Thanks, Steve. i love reading what you have written. I m such an emotional person at heart but my husband was a bit of a large figure (in small circles). The honoring has gone on for six months and I am having the hardest time grieving despite the fact I loved him so deeply. It helps me to have you share your real feelings.

Warmly
Suz

At 6:06am on August 31, 2012,
VOLUNTEER
Soaring Spirits
said…

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
Supa
site founder and admin

At 6:17pm on August 24, 2012, desertdweller87 said…

Hi Steve, I cannot seem to find you in the LGBT forum so thought I would post here. I am glad you found us and I am sorry for your loss and the hectic journey you have been through since your partner died. I was a caregiver as well for Karen for almost 10 years. Post whenever you feel the need and someone will respond. Hugs!

 
 
 

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