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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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  • Poway, CA
  • United States
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Steve's Discussions

Anybody experiencing sexual problems with new spouse after being widower?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Sep 16, 2015. 4 Replies

Hi everybody. My name is Steve and I was partnered to the same man over 30 yrs, until his passing in 2009 from cancer. We were both in our teens when we committed to each other and I loved him very…Continue

Are you in process of moving on, creating a new life after the loss of your spouse?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Jun 10, 2015. 18 Replies

Hello, my name is Steve and my long time male life partner passed in March 2009, from an 18 month battle with stage 4 colon cancer. We had just celebrated our 30th anniversary the prior January…Continue


Steve's Page

Latest Activity

Steve replied to LP's discussion Neurodegenerative disease MSA anyone else? in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hi Lp,  Im so very sorry for your loss.  Although I’m not familiar with the particulars of degenerative disease, I’m certainly familiar with the devastation of going through this process with our spouse.  My best friend,…"
Jun 2
Steve commented on Rainy (Misty)'s blog post Staying positive amid despair
"Misty, what a beautiful post.  Thank you so much for sharing this with us.  It is, one of the most wonderful posts I have read here in a long time.   You so beautifully wrote so much of what I have come to think, feel. About this…"
Feb 23
Steve commented on mls64 (Mike)'s blog post Separating emotion from logic...
"Hello mike.  I personally still have moments of shock, or disbelief, that im without my partner here with me.  Its less frequent, less common, doesnt happen in every day situations anymore, but, i found myself today at a very stuffy, fancy…"
Dec 6, 2017
Hornet (Cindy) left a comment for Steve
"Hello, Steve. Yes, those waves of grief are still out there, aren't they? They roll over me from time to time as well...but like you said...they come less often than they used to. I wonder often what my life is now...what it should be. It makes…"
Nov 12, 2017
Steve commented on Hornet (Cindy)'s blog post Hornet...on WILLING YOU STRENGTH!
"Hi, thankyou for writing this, sharing this here. I relate to your feelings on the early loss, darkness. I am now over 8 years into my journey after my long time life partner Michael passed. Like you, in the begining, i couldnt see past that moment.…"
Oct 23, 2017
Steve replied to Surreal17's discussion How do you process your anger/disappointment at people who didn't "show up" for you and your spouse? in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hi everyone. I have been on this journey of widowerhood, since March 09, after 31 yrs with my male partner. After some time into my journey, had the shock and awe of my entire true loss engulf me, Mike, friends, family, it took me quite awhile to…"
Sep 20, 2017

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Comment Wall (12 comments)

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At 5:26am on November 12, 2017, Hornet (Cindy) said…

Hello, Steve. Yes, those waves of grief are still out there, aren't they? They roll over me from time to time as well...but like you said...they come less often than they used to. I wonder often what my life is now...what it should be. It makes me feel lost and alone. But when I reflect more deeply, I remember that I asked those questions of myself before I lost Rick. The only difference is that I had Rick to talk all of these deep life questions out with. Now, I rely on myself...and sometimes, on friends and family, to discuss the deeper life questions. (Though it isn't nearly as meaningful as it was with my sweet husband.) I am grateful, as you say so frequently, I am grateful for the 32 years I had with Rick. His impact on my life is so very profound that I can barely describe it in words. In fact, the depth of the impact can't be can only be felt...remembered...cherished...used to make today better. Yes...I am grateful. And that alone makes these days afterward more bearable. Thank you, Steve. (By the way, I just love the picture of you and Mike. When I look at it, I see love.) Cindy

At 3:54pm on May 2, 2015, Hornet (Cindy) said…

Hello, Steve. Thank you for the nice comment on my post. I am about 20 months out...that seems so strange typing that number...20. It surprises me how unreal it still feels...almost 2 years out. Before it was me in these shoes, I would have thought the 'new' life would have taken over by now. Now I know.

I was reading your posts and understand that your Mike passed several years ago. Isn't it a miraculous thing how two human beings can meld together so completely at the heart? And when one goes, how completely it devastates the other? I was so spiritually wounded when Rick died, I could hardly speak. And now, here I am...just floating around. (That's how it feels...just floating.)

I wish you peace, Steve. Peace and love and healing.

At 8:16am on February 22, 2015, rosamore (Kamala) said…

Hello Steve,  I have been reading your posts since I joined WV last year.  My husband passed away three months ago.   Your posts are so uplifting with positive thoughts which I surely need it. So happy to read you found someone that you are happy again.  That is wonderful. Keep posting positive posts it will lift everyone spirit.  

At 9:37am on January 5, 2015, Markus said…
Nice to meet you steve
At 11:49am on June 28, 2014, Patience said…
Steve, read your post on the 2009 board about your parents. My mom is home and my step dad is in the nursing home. I don't think you need a lawyer to do what your lawyer friend suggested. You can do it on your Own. Take Mom with you and go to the Board of social services, or wherever in California is the equivalent to the NJ board that puts people on Medicaid. My 83 year old mom actually did it on her OWN with barely any help from me. I was just her cheerleader and helper. I'll be happy to answer any of your questions. Diane
At 6:35pm on December 17, 2012, Hopeful said…
Steve, he is leaving you signs! Gives me goosebumps. Wow. I pray for signs every day. When we are open to them, I believe we will receive them. I loved the blue hair story... those memories are gifts. Take good care.
At 6:18pm on November 8, 2012, MissingRKK said…

Steve, your writing is so magnificent. I pounce on your posts--for your open-heart, your honesty, your humor, your willingness to go deep and not hold back. You have a gift and you feel like a gift to me. I thank you, dearly.

Carrie (MissingRKK)

At 7:51am on September 28, 2012, Suz said…

Thanks, Steve. i love reading what you have written. I m such an emotional person at heart but my husband was a bit of a large figure (in small circles). The honoring has gone on for six months and I am having the hardest time grieving despite the fact I loved him so deeply. It helps me to have you share your real feelings.


At 6:06am on August 31, 2012,
Soaring Spirits

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
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At 6:17pm on August 24, 2012, desertdweller87 said…

Hi Steve, I cannot seem to find you in the LGBT forum so thought I would post here. I am glad you found us and I am sorry for your loss and the hectic journey you have been through since your partner died. I was a caregiver as well for Karen for almost 10 years. Post whenever you feel the need and someone will respond. Hugs!


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