This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Male
  • Poway, CA
  • United States
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Steve's Friends

  • Nacho2017
  • Beansy
  • Dan
  • Craiger
  • Kathryn1
  • Hawky (Rebekah)
  • shaunamont
  • Terry
  • Howie gates
  • Packerfanlyn
  • Markus
  • icecream
  • BESTBUDS1 [Norman}
  • Slick
  • Leslie Dianne

Steve's Discussions

Anybody experiencing sexual problems with new spouse after being widower?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Sep 16, 2015. 4 Replies

Hi everybody. My name is Steve and I was partnered to the same man over 30 yrs, until his passing in 2009 from cancer. We were both in our teens when we committed to each other and I loved him very…Continue

Are you in process of moving on, creating a new life after the loss of your spouse?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Jun 10, 2015. 18 Replies

Hello, my name is Steve and my long time male life partner passed in March 2009, from an 18 month battle with stage 4 colon cancer. We had just celebrated our 30th anniversary the prior January…Continue


Steve's Page

Latest Activity

Steve commented on kellygreenstrat (Colin)'s blog post Heard it in a Love Song
"Hi Colin, this was beautiful. Thanks for writing it, It touched me. im also a guy that loves music, it is always in me every day. So many songs are "ours" meaning have had such emotional ties, memories to me. A song will remind me of this…"
Steve replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"So right Diane, sorry to hear of your fathers passing, my Father passed Feb 12, 2016 from Alzeimers as well. At that time mom and i were both wishing him to pass, he was suffering so much, and so were we watching him. He was so tortured in the end,…"
Steve replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"You are so welcome, Ashleynicole, and if anything i shared in any way, helped you, im so happy it did. Take care"
Apr 18
Steve replied to Nacho2017's discussion Feelings of freedom, guilt, sorrow and loneliness in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hello Everyone. There was a glitch somewhere and i never received an email notice that there were more comments on this page, i guess. Happy Belated Birthday Rich! It just so happens, my 55th birthday is approaching on April 21st, and i have to keep…"
Apr 13
Steve replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"That makes sense Athena, could be so. Glad you enjoyed bike race, good for you! Steve"
Apr 12
Steve replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"Thank you Athena, Im glad if my story helped in any way. Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey, as well. All our journeys are very individual, we grieve differently, however i personally always gleen some comonality from everyones story. So…"
Apr 11
Steve replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"Hi Ashley Nicole, Im so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. I became part of the "widowed club" when in 2009 my male life partner of 31 years, Michael, passed from cancer. We had fallen in love in our mid teens, and had both worked…"
Apr 7
Steve commented on kellygreenstrat (Colin)'s blog post I've Answered My Own Question
"I have pondered this question, many times in my life. I happen to have had several occassions to have faced this challemge, decision in life. When i was 11 yrs old, i met Glenn in School. He had just moved into our neighborhood, and he sat right…"
Mar 13
Steve replied to Nacho2017's discussion Feelings of freedom, guilt, sorrow and loneliness in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hi kellygreen, and everyone! Its a deal, regarding the plane, we will stop in Indianapolis to pick up my dear sister in law, then, Toronto to pick up gaining strength, and off we will go! So sorry you had the need to join our group here, but so…"
Mar 5
Steve commented on Soaring Spirits's group More Than One Loss (Multiple Losses)
"Hi everyone, Baranik, sorry you suffer from Panick Disorder, i do as well and know how disabling and terrifying that can be. Its been quite awhile since i have dreamed with Mike, but i remember them very well. The first two were upsetting,…"
Mar 4
Steve commented on Orb101214's blog post Five years ago was our 'Houseaversary'
"So wonderful! Thanks for sharing that. The ways my partner and i celebrated was thru spending time with each other. We both had everything we needed, wanted, as far as things, so our idea of a wonderful anniversary was a simple picnic at the beach,…"
Mar 2
Steve commented on Maddieluv's blog post We had a last day, we just didn't know it
"Hi Maddielove, so sorry for your loss and reasons of needing to be here. So happy that you found this place, Widowed Village. You will find lots of support and wonderful people here that share in your experience. As i read your blog, my heart ached…"
Mar 2
Steve replied to Patience (Diane)'s discussion Is Anyone Else disappointed in The US Public behavior over the 2016 Presidential Election?
"Hi Everyone! Im so sorry Susan about your husbands and your friend. Maybe we all know someone like this, i sure do! I have a very long time friend, a very good person, really enjoy him when he isnt talking politics! He and i have very similar views,…"
Mar 2
Steve replied to Nacho2017's discussion Feelings of freedom, guilt, sorrow and loneliness in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hi Rich, thank you for your post. I identify with you, so sorry for your loss and those feelings of guilt. I have the guilt feelings all the time. I try so hard to let go of those feelings, but its tough. I was partnered 30+ yrs to Mike, he passed…"
Feb 26
Steve replied to Patience (Diane)'s discussion Is Anyone Else disappointed in The US Public behavior over the 2016 Presidential Election?
"Hi Diane, so wonderful to find your post. Hope you are well. Yes, im very sadened and disappointed in a bunch of behaviors by people over election. I have stopped following probably 20 of my friends on facebook, and i avoid certain friends all…"
Feb 24
Steve commented on Soaring Spirits's group More Than One Loss (Multiple Losses)
"Thank you Beans. Thats so great you got to attend your sons wedding! Take care, steve"
Feb 23

Profile Information

Steve's Blog

Overwhelmed with loss and new life

Posted on March 2, 2016 at 8:27am 9 Comments

Hi everyone. I've been feeling very overwhelmed with life's changes lately. Also have been extremely reflective of my past. I am currently 53, turning 54 in April. As I look back over my life, starting back in my early childhood, the overall feeling I have is gratitude, grateful for the people I have known and loved, grateful for most of the characters that have entered and left my life. I have had many, many wonderful, crazy, fun experiences, experienced such tender love, have truly been so… Continue

Comment Wall (12 comments)

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At 6:39am on August 22, 2016, Slick said…

Steve I feel like we have been friends for many life changes and hurts we both have been through...

At 3:54pm on May 2, 2015, Hornet (Cindy) said…

Hello, Steve. Thank you for the nice comment on my post. I am about 20 months out...that seems so strange typing that number...20. It surprises me how unreal it still feels...almost 2 years out. Before it was me in these shoes, I would have thought the 'new' life would have taken over by now. Now I know.

I was reading your posts and understand that your Mike passed several years ago. Isn't it a miraculous thing how two human beings can meld together so completely at the heart? And when one goes, how completely it devastates the other? I was so spiritually wounded when Rick died, I could hardly speak. And now, here I am...just floating around. (That's how it feels...just floating.)

I wish you peace, Steve. Peace and love and healing.

At 8:16am on February 22, 2015, rosamore (Kamala) said…

Hello Steve,  I have been reading your posts since I joined WV last year.  My husband passed away three months ago.   Your posts are so uplifting with positive thoughts which I surely need it. So happy to read you found someone that you are happy again.  That is wonderful. Keep posting positive posts it will lift everyone spirit.  

At 9:37am on January 5, 2015, Markus said…
Nice to meet you steve
At 11:49am on June 28, 2014, Patience (Diane) said…
Steve, read your post on the 2009 board about your parents. My mom is home and my step dad is in the nursing home. I don't think you need a lawyer to do what your lawyer friend suggested. You can do it on your Own. Take Mom with you and go to the Board of social services, or wherever in California is the equivalent to the NJ board that puts people on Medicaid. My 83 year old mom actually did it on her OWN with barely any help from me. I was just her cheerleader and helper. I'll be happy to answer any of your questions. Diane
At 6:35pm on December 17, 2012, Hopeful said…
Steve, he is leaving you signs! Gives me goosebumps. Wow. I pray for signs every day. When we are open to them, I believe we will receive them. I loved the blue hair story... those memories are gifts. Take good care.
At 6:18pm on November 8, 2012, MissingRKK said…

Steve, your writing is so magnificent. I pounce on your posts--for your open-heart, your honesty, your humor, your willingness to go deep and not hold back. You have a gift and you feel like a gift to me. I thank you, dearly.

Carrie (MissingRKK)

At 7:51am on September 28, 2012, Suz said…

Thanks, Steve. i love reading what you have written. I m such an emotional person at heart but my husband was a bit of a large figure (in small circles). The honoring has gone on for six months and I am having the hardest time grieving despite the fact I loved him so deeply. It helps me to have you share your real feelings.


At 6:06am on August 31, 2012,
Soaring Spirits

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
site founder and admin

At 6:17pm on August 24, 2012, desertdweller87 said…

Hi Steve, I cannot seem to find you in the LGBT forum so thought I would post here. I am glad you found us and I am sorry for your loss and the hectic journey you have been through since your partner died. I was a caregiver as well for Karen for almost 10 years. Post whenever you feel the need and someone will respond. Hugs!


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