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TamilovesTim
  • Female
  • Tinley Park, IL
  • United States
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TamilovesTim's Friends

  • Brokenheart2
  • Turtle
  • S@LtLif3
  • jenb822
  • Tomsgirl
  • jandelcabin
  • Rea
  • chiefsfanatic (Ragan)
  • Stgirl
  • laurajay
  • Timetoheal
  • missmyhunny
  • 3janda
  • Ginos Princess Alisa
  • Michigan Girl
 

TamilovesTim's Page

Profile Information

I was married for over 10 years and my husband died of mesothelioma cancer. Two months later I met Tim in a group grief group for my kids. He was also a widow and we hit it off immediately. We fell in love and a year later we got engaged so we had been engaged for two years now, and on Feb 20th 2013 he died from a brain tumor. We had three wonderful years together. We were extremely happy, and very much in love. I really thought I had found my soulmate after all we had both been through. He was only 46. I'm 42 and now a two time widow. I just can't believe this had to happen to us. I cry every single day and think about him constantly. We were perfect for each other. I will never be the same and I don't know how I will ever be happy again without him. I have so many questions that I will never know the answers to.

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Comment Wall (19 comments)

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At 5:36pm on August 18, 2013, Brokenheart2 said…
Oh Tami, my heart breaks for you!
I always felt like I was the only 1 out there who had to endure this devastating loss twice before the age of 45 but since I have found this site I know I am not alone. Thank you so much for reaching out to me. It's sad to have connected because of this tragic bond we share but I'm glad to have a friend who understands share in this unwanted journey.
Take good care of yourself!
At 10:05am on June 10, 2013, Mariposa said…

My dear, you are so welcome. May God bless you as well.

At 10:19am on June 9, 2013, Mariposa said…

You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am so sorry for your losses.  I wish you peace, strength, comfort and healing.

At 5:34pm on April 25, 2013, jandelcabin said…

I am so sorry for you losses.  It' so hard sometimes to believe that this can happen to you twice in one lifetime.  i took my time waiting to date again since i had been married to my first husband for 20 years and we dates five years prior.  I was just a kid the last time I went on a date.  On-line dating was unheard of when I was first married.  When I became unexpectedly widowed at 45 I was like ok what do I do know now.  I got my life together and moved on as best as I could.  I went on a vacation to a beach in ME and went for a walk on a beautiful moonlighted night and asked my first husband to help me find someone decent and kind that I could date.  I went back home and there was an e-mail from a handsome man named John that I had met on Catholic Match.com.  We became e-mail friends and then met in person.  The rest was history.  He was a lovely, lovely man and can't believe he was taken from me so young.  Somehow I will find the strength that I need to get through this and make a new life for myself.  You will too.  It's called baby steps.  I try to do something out of my comfort zone everyday.  I unfortunately have lost a lot of friends during both of my losses but have made new and more meaningful relationships since.  My heart goes out to you.  You look like you were a very happy and loving couple.  Please  keep in touch.  Janice

At 3:15am on April 23, 2013, JPSwifeCathy said…
Tami
I'm praying for you right now ! So SORRY you are going through this twice!!:(
I'm glad we share FAITH @ that we"ll see them again:(:). But it's SO hard right now'!!
I'm 2 days away from being 1 yr without John!'. Can't return to sleep since 4am--guess God knows we needed to chat!! I was married 28!1/2 yrs--John was 48 when he died April,25th 2012 from ALS/Lou Gehrig"s Disease!! Cathy
At 6:35pm on April 18, 2013, Rea said…

Tami,  I hope you can help me.  How does one upload a photo?  I have been trying for the past couple of hours, but it's just hangs and hangs.  I know you aren't the FAQ person, but I couldn't find anything or my eyes are overlooking the simpilest things.  Thanks a bunch.

Welcome to Florida...:-)

At 6:21pm on April 18, 2013, Rea said…

Hi Tami and thank you for the invite.  I look forward to communicating with you.

At 9:54pm on April 5, 2013, missmyhunny said…

Hi Tami, Thankyou  ((((( ))))). Yes we do have some things in common with the death of not one but two spouses. I really can't understand it either why some of us have to endure so much heartache and other people seem to have just a normal life with no tragedy. It just leaves me wondering "Why Me"? I have always tried to be a good person and help others along the way, yet i seem to get constantly kicked in the head! If there is a God there will be a lot of questions to ask about "Why". I have had 2 out of my 4 children pre decease me also, as well as 2 husbands, both dying from heart related problems, and sometimes i wonder was i just in their lives to see the ones i love die before me, and i get angry about that, and the awful times i have been forced to go through. I see others in my life that i am close to get all the joys and i get all the sorrows. Not that i would wish that upon them, but i just get so miserable somedays that their lives are just going along smoothly, when i am struggling to survive. I don't want to put on a happy face when the life i knew has crashed down around me yet again. Sometimes i wake up and just want to be where my loved ones are, and far away from this awful existence. I am so tired of being in pain, and missing them all.

Thankyou for listening.

At 3:47am on April 5, 2013, missmyhunny said…

Tami, Hi, Thanks for your Friend request.  Look forward to getting to know you on the blogs.

At 12:09pm on April 2, 2013, shell said…

Tami, I know what you mean on one brain tumor blog some say god answered their prayers and it is a miracle that their loved ones are living and doing well for so many years. I am so glad for them and hope that they continue to do well but I feel like then I guess we didnt prayer enough because  Jon had 14 months and had such a hard time. There is no rhyme or reason. Hope that you are doing ok. 

TamilovesTim's Blog

Damn sneak attacks!

Posted on August 4, 2013 at 9:24pm 4 Comments

I had a huge crying spell just now. Yelling at God and everything. I felt like a huge weight was pressing down on my chest and almost crushing me like I couldn't breathe. It started with me thinking about him and missing him so badly. My heart hurts so much and I feel sick to my stomach. I swear I was just a normal person an hour ago. I hate these sneak attacks! Damn them! It's been over 5 months and tonight felt like day one. Unbelievable how a person can change in an instant. Of course the… Continue

Damn sneak attacks!

Posted on August 4, 2013 at 9:24pm 0 Comments

I had a huge crying spell just now. Yelling at God and everything. I felt like a huge weight was pressing down on my chest and almost crushing me like I couldn't breathe. It started with me thinking about him and missing him so badly. My heart hurts so much and I feel sick to my stomach. I swear I was just a normal person an hour ago. I hate these sneak attacks! Damn them! It's been over 5 months and tonight felt like day one. Unbelievable how a person can change in an instant. Of course the… Continue

Wanting answers to why

Posted on June 26, 2013 at 9:34pm 7 Comments

Tonight I just can't take it anymore. Tears have been falling on and off for days, even though it's been four months. I thought I was getting better. That was a lie. I'm crying hysterically, I feel like I can't breathe, I feel sick to my stomach like I'm going to throw up and I don't know what to do. I keep saying to myself...I can't do this anymore. I can't keep going on like this without him. I've Become a terrible mother, I'm always mad at my kids and I'm miserable. I am a bad daughter, I… Continue

I hate my bedroom

Posted on June 8, 2013 at 8:42pm 4 Comments

Two years ago we added onto our home. We added a huge beautiful new bedroom, where we spent a lot of our time. I always made our bed and kept the room neat and clean.I have so many memories in here. Now I hate it. He's been gone over 3 months and was in the hospital for 7 weeks prior so basically I Haven't cleaned my bedroom for six months. His clothes are still sitting on the chair, his wallet and checkbook and papers are sitting on top of his dresser. I just keep piling my clothes and garbage… Continue
 
 
 

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