"it's shameful how wicked people can be, how little empathy they can have, when they only think about themselves. I'm so sorry for the hurt your MIL is causing you, there is no excuse (even her grief) for that. Keep focusing on your family…"
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Tamtunka
- Ruther Glen, VA
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Tamtunka's Discussions
Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan B Jan 1. 25 Replies 1 Like
I am looking for information on how to relate/handle/cope with changes with/in the relationhip with the in-laws after a person's spouse dies. I am struggling with mine as are some of the people I…Continue
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SoulSurfer (Brian) replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"Kate, I can identify with you, I might as well be in Australia. I felt abandoned and lacking any support structure I am starting to create a new one. During the holidays its been tough but some time ago I decided I would surround myself…"
Bren replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"I think the relationship with in-laws is so complicated and strange following your spouse's death. My husband moved very far away from his family when he was 18, to California where I grew up. Essentially, he joined my family, and spent all…"
mem5711 (Denise) replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"I've had no and I mean no contact with my husband's family since he passed away on August 12, 2011. He has 8 siblings and his mother is still living, which is pretty sad for my children. But my family makes up for it....they have…"
armywidow replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"My husband warned me to be very careful and not be surprised at anything they did.
He based that on watching what happened at previous family members' deaths.
So far we are in contact and everything is OK as usual, but the brother and sister in…"
Kiki8 replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"Chris' family was good up til the funeral... We weren't married yet, but were engaged (though I wouldn't let him spend the money on a ring). They asked my opinion on funeral things, and I just told them to do whatever. I was included…"
olemiss61 replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"my husband had a heart transplant 12 yrs ago and his mother and other daughter tried to run us out of the hospital because they didn't think he would make it. over the 11 yrs they continually made snide comments until 6 months before he died…"
HeatherHP replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"Thanks MrsD! I'm so happy to hear that your inlaws are considerate and loving. That's what I would have thought mine would have been. Its like they are different people. I've heard countless times that I should…"
MrsD replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"Heather that is terrible. I've been really shocked at how often this seems to happen. I've had some issues with my ILs but I have to admit they are still there for me since Dan's death, and they seem to want me…"
HeatherHP replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"My brother in law had his second child yesterday. I found out through mutual friends. So it is very clear that I am not considered family... however, of course I haven't said anything because the celebration of a beautiful life in…"
olemiss61 replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"sorry about you lose and in law troubles. i thought i was the only one that felt like an outsider. my husband didn't even want to be around them."
Samantha (was clare) replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"Wow, I read the responses about inlaw problems.....I am so sorry all of us are going thru this, like we need their issues on top of everything else we are going thru....Butch..my hubby has been gone 39 days.....I found out this week my oldest son is…"
olemiss61 replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"i thought i was the only one with this problem. his grown daughter and son it's alll about the money for them. his mother always made remarks that i should have died instead of his ex wife. she bought the house we live in and it was in a trust…"
really_trying replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"Oh Jenn! I am so sorry your "Monster in Law" was so awful and am thinking mine and your's were 'cut from the same cloth'!!! The only thing with mine, was she lived 20 minutes away from us. I always…"
jenn replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"I have the opposite problem from most people. my monster in law never liked me ( married 23yrs) and had even gone so far as saying to my late husband that I was never a good wife to him.... she live in Fl we live in NY... almost every vaca was…"
Karen replied to Tamtunka's discussion Relationships with the "in-laws" after your spouse dies
"I don't really have in-laws per se, but I do have his family such as sisters, nieces etc. and I just don't have anything in common with them except my husband. So I really don't want to continue the relationships with them and…"
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Comment Wall (3 comments)
- At 11:06am on July 17, 2012,
VOLUNTEERSupa Dupa Fresh said… Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
Supa
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- At 11:32pm on June 21, 2012,
Joyce said… Welcome Tamtunka: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I know you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".
- At 6:25pm on June 21, 2012,
wannabmartha said… So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others. Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help.
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