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barb
  • Female
  • Shorewood, IL
  • United States
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barb's Discussions

work in progress

Started this discussion. Last reply by Dawn- Clouds Mum Jun 1, 2011. 8 Replies

Well, this morning I was notified by a letter that my blue cross/blue shield had dropped my insurance.  4 phone calls later, 2 disconnects by rude robot, 3 transfers and YEP I was dropped.  they told…Continue

 

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Barb's Blog

caterpillar to butterfly

Posted on November 26, 2011 at 10:14am 9 Comments

Hi fellow friends at Widow Village

First I want to thank all who have helped me and listened to the many nights of crying, and hurting.  I dont know what I would have done without being able to come here.  I quit calling my personal friends because they could not help - but you people let me lean on you and gain from your strength and experiences and pain in your own hearts.  I met, liked, laughed and learned from so many of you.  My life is going well right now.  I am seeing a nice…

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grateful

Posted on May 21, 2011 at 5:47am 2 Comments

yesterday I went to doctor - regular yearly check-up.  He said "You are in real good health, Barb" - keep up the physical exercise you are getting.  On the way home when usually I cry, i started thinking about all of the things I am grateful for.  Not having pain and being able to play sports at 65 - makes me pretty lucky.  Also I have a pair of white dogs who are always glad to see me, cuddle at night, one even cries with me when I weep.  I live in a 55 and up community - more activities than… Continue

Let's see -    what does one do when they miss their spouse - and want to talk or be with no one else?  Cry, sob but it doesn't help.  What a losing position it is to be a widow.  So much work and ef…

Posted on April 20, 2011 at 12:27pm 6 Comments

Let's see -    what does one do when they miss their spouse - and want to talk or be with no one else?  Cry, sob but it doesn't help.  What a losing position it is to be a widow.  So much work and effort to gain nothing.........rather to lose it all.   Our income is lessened, our chores are doubled, and we are destined to missing the one we love.   There is no relief, or fix or cure.  We go thru the motions best we can to look normal but inside 1/2 of us died also.  We spare others of our… Continue

...Instead of thinking it is 92 days since I have seen my Rich, I am gonna think of it as one less day til I can be with him again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Posted on April 12, 2011 at 8:02pm 2 Comments

...Instead of thinking it is 92 days since I have seen my Rich, I am gonna think of it as one less day til I can be with him again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Continue

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At 2:19am on May 2, 2012, Dianne in Nevada said…

Hoping you have a really wonderful day, Barb.  Happy Birthday!

Dianne

At 4:35am on May 1, 2012, Denise said…
Happy Birthday!!
At 9:02pm on August 17, 2011, LAL said…
Thank you for being my friend.  I feel the aching and pain everyday.  It feels like a struggle just to do anything at all.  If I stay busy I am better, but being busy doesn't really help me get through grief, now does it?
At 8:16pm on August 17, 2011, Braunie said…
Hi Barb, Thank-you for the invite. I liked your "Grateful" post from May and also the Aug. 3 post, especially about picturing your beloved on the couch. I do that too. Take care, Braunie
At 4:20pm on July 30, 2011, Abby said…

Hi Barb
I think of you as well, my friend. Just wish this horrible aching would end.  I have had some ok days but something seems to pull me back to the harsh reality that I will never talk to my husband again. Every day that I survive seems to be surreal to me. How did this happen?  Why did this happen?  This was not the outcome we were told to expect. Now that I am having an inquiry into the death of my husband (not legal yet) just through the College of Physicians and Surgeons, I am having to fill out paperwork about where my areas of concern are, reliving all of the horrible days leading up to his death. But I have to do this for him as he deserves to know why this happened and hopefully I can hold someone accountable for his death. I am so tired of doctors being treated like g-d when they are simply human beings doing what they have been trained to do and get paid handsomely to do. Why do we as a society allow them to lie their way out of taking any responsibility for the death of a loved one? They count on us being too fragile to take them to task and when we do, they band together in a brotherhood that needs to stop.  I know in my heart that mistakes were made, not sure that I will be able to prove it, but if I don't do this, I will never be able to live with myself. I know that it is causing me to relive the pain over and over again and is messing up my grieving process, but I will have to sort all of that out once this hell is over.

I do try to be positive and was hoping that once that awful gut wrenching initial grief susbsided that the rest of the road would go smoother. But, no chance of that. It is a rollercoaster ride, like most people have mentioned and the ups and downs are sometimes too much for me.

I hope that you are feeling a bit better and are trying to enjoy your life.

Let me know where you are at and how your are doing.

Be well and thank you for touching base.

Abby

At 11:19am on July 20, 2011, Charlotte said…
Thank you so much.  I just know I am going to enjoy it'
At 7:06am on May 10, 2011, Abby said…

Hi Barb:

Have not heard from you since your Vegas trip. Just checking to make sure you are ok?
I didn't know your BD was on the 2nd - Happy Belated BD. Mine was on the 7th - my first without my husband. This Friday is our anniversary and on the 26th of May is my husband's BD. I hate May but glad to know another Taurus!  Let me know how you are donig when you get a minute.

Abby

At 6:28pm on May 2, 2011, wannabmartha said…
Happy Birthday Barb! May all of your birthday dreams come true!
At 3:41am on May 2, 2011, Boo said…
sending you light and love on your Birthday x
At 9:09pm on May 1, 2011, Dianne in Nevada said…
Hope you have a wonderful birthday here in Las Vegas. If you have a few minutes free and want to meet for coffee, let me know.
 
 
 

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