"Wow Mike, so sorry that you have to be here. We have all gone through what you are going through and know what it feels like to feel so empty and alone even when surrounded by friends and relatives who love you. I lost my hubby on May…"
"I feel your pain, forever56. And I certainly understand about the specialists who think they know it all. Try to be kinder to yourself. There was no way of knowing whether the clinical trial would keep him alive longer or not.…"
"It has been very interesting following the conversation about guilt. I too have spent much time thinking that if I made the different decisions, or done something different, maybe Neal would have had more time. He was barely 5 months…"
"I think families can be horrid in times of grief. My own experience is different than yours, but I can say the family reaction is the same. I think the anger is either their way of dealing with their grief, or their attempt to cover over…"
"Yes Ali, I have been taking it one day at a time and often just one minute at a time for the last 5 months. I figure if I'm putting one foot in front of the other, then I'm doing okay. Like everyone here, I have good days and bad. Reading…"
"Yes, someone I hadn't seen in months asked me today how my honey was doing. I just came right out and said he died. She was shocked but then compassionate. But, I hate that someone is asking after him. Then today I got a…"
"All these comments really resonate with me. Neal had only 4 months from diagnosis until he died of lung cancer. He had had a clean cat scan in May 2011, but by the time he showed any symptoms in January 2012, there was a 'significant' mass…"
"Mary and Suzanne, Thank you so much for your posts! What you have expressed gives me hope -- hope that there is still life out there to be lived and that it is my choice as to how I decide to live it. Yes, I would like to meet someone to…"
"dvkitten, I am so, so sorry for your loss! We all have different stories that bring us here, but yours is particularly tragic. My heart goes out to you. I'm coming up on 4 months, and life has gotten a tiny bit easier, but…"
"Lauralee, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can certainly relate. I too have "stepchildren" who have been just awful and would love to kick me out of our house if they could. They can't though. My…"
"Dianna, you are not wrong to feel so offended. Friends are people who are there for you in the tough times, not just the good times. People who disappear after our spouses have died don't even deserve our energy in being angry or…"
"It will take you time to get over everything you've been through and adjust to the "new normal". Take as much time as you need. I can relate to your losing things...my mind didn't seem to work very well at first after…"
"Aren't girlfriends the best? I am so lucky to have wonderful friends who have made sure to invite me to go out to lunch, movies, drinks, etc to have fun and laugh. There is nothing more theraputic than laughing! Staying busy…"
"Consider yourself fortunate. I have not had anything to do with Neal's family since the funeral either, and compared to the chaos they created while he was ill, this has been a wonderfully peaceful time, allowing me to grieve in my own…"
It looks like you are but a month ahead of me on this journey of grief. Prayers for us both and we will survive and honour them with the strength. My sweet husband of 39 years passed on June 8. I know he is now with our son, whom we lost 14 1/2 years ago. They are singing together in God's choir. :-)
Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form. We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months. Big hug!
site founder and admin
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad that you found widowed village and our unwedded widows group. This online community is full of wonderful people who "get it". I am here to support and encourage you and offer you hope. Sending you a big hug. GW
You're absolutely right....this is the place to feel understood. My suggestion to you would be to engage in discussion and maybe join a group when you're ready. That way you'll get connected where you secifically have things in common like: age, ie join born in the 60"s if that's your age. You might want to join a group that speaks to how you lost your spouse such as "suddenly widowed" or "long term illness". If you're not up to that just yet, I'd explore the site reading what other people have said and you'll be amazed at how much you'll be able to relate. I hope that helps a little bit!
Welcome emptyheart: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I know you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"
So sorry for the reason you’re here but glad that you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same journey together some further down the road than others. Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help.