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  • Female
  • San Antonio, TX
  • United States
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honeys(puddin)'s Discussions

Pills & Bags

Started this discussion. Last reply by honeys(puddin) May 17, 2012. 3 Replies

Pills.  I've got bottles and bottles of pills and a filled pill container that I keep seeing and noticing that he never took his evening dose and then I remember that it's because he never came home…Continue


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I just don't want to.

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 7:13am 16 Comments

Honey's birthday is this Saturday April 6.  My nieces confirmation is that evening and while I don't want to go to that I have told my sister that I would so that I could take photos.  My stepson asked me the other dad if I was going to do anything to acknowledge Dads birthday.  I told him no.  He said to let him know if I did after all.  I'm just curious-do the majority here do something for the acknowledgement of their loves birthdays after they have passed away?  My Honey loved his…


Well...tomorrow's the day...sigh.

Posted on November 9, 2012 at 3:35pm 7 Comments

Tomorrow a group of friends is putting on a memorial ride/traveling pool tournament for my Honey and to raise funds to help me pay for getting our truck painted.  It was my Honeys truck that he was working on and was never able to finish before he died.  I didn't ask for this but they've insisted.  We'll meet at his hang out home away from home favorite bar and leave from there, travel to 3 more bars and play pool at each then end the day around 4PM at his home bar, then of course I'll be…


Moments of nothingness

Posted on November 4, 2012 at 4:19am 12 Comments

For about a week now I've been experiencing these really obvious long moments of nothingness,  void of feelings either way.  I'm never really happy but from time to time I smile or even laugh.  I'm always sad inside and most times it shows on the outside but not always.  I've been feeling like nothing.  Kind of creepy.  Not happy, not sad, not angry, not anxious, etc., nothing.  Just here.  This is a new one for me in this bullshit journey.  When the kids or grandkids are around I can pull…


Empty & Meaningless

Posted on October 19, 2012 at 5:13am 14 Comments

These are the two words that are screaming in my head this past week.  23 weeks out today and I've gone through (and am going through) the various ranges of emotions.  I'm not surprised anymore by them and that helps.  I stay busy every evening and weekends (which are the hardest as we all know).  I have family, children, grandchildren, friends who invite and include, 3 Boxer babies, a job (although my daycare enrollment is down to almost nothing), home projects, awesome new camera and…


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At 1:33pm on November 26, 2012, Raine's Nana said…

Honey, yesterday you posted about what your husband would do.  I have a little story about my husband.  When I met him, he was a widower.  His wife was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  She didn't have treatment rather she spent the next 6 months of her life having quality time with her friends and family.  She gathered her girlfriends together and asked them to find someone for him, well they found me.  Little did they know that we were meant for each other. 

No I am in the same boat as he was 16 years ago.  I know that he would want me to find someone but at this time it is the farthest thing from my mind. 

You see, I don't think I could ever find a more perfect person than he.  As is all of our departed spouses we all had the best of the best.

At 3:38pm on November 1, 2012, beachgirlcm said…
Tony and I always planned to spend Fridays together. He would take me shopping and patiently wait in the car telling me to"take my time" then we would always plan dinner out .
I loved that time with him. It's been 4 months without him. For 3 days when he was on life support I cried while holding his hand yelling....."You were supposed to grow old with me!" Now I feel so lost and hate Fridays. I miss his laughter, I miss him walking in the house calling...""hi baby I'm home!"
At 10:42am on November 1, 2012, Samantha (was clare) said…

I understand what you mean about being jealous of older couples..I work in retail so I see all combinations of people...the other day an older couple...probably 80's  walked by hand in hand looking so cute...and when the tears welled up in me I told myself..that would have been my hubby and I in 30 years....then I thought, that is what our souls looked like inside and was then able to smile back at the couple thru my tears....clare


At 1:30pm on May 23, 2012,
Soaring Spirits

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
site founder and admin

At 7:41pm on May 21, 2012, Dianne in Nevada said…

Thinking of you on your special day.


At 8:02pm on May 16, 2012, Joyce said…

Welcome honeyspudding:  I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I know you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".

At 3:09pm on May 16, 2012, Arnie (New Normal) said…

Hi honeyspuddin,

     I am so sorry for your loss yet I am glad you found us. You will find some great help here on the site and the relationships you will build with all of the great people here. We are all on the other side of life now and only we can really understand how you feel. I am on chat quiet often and it is scary and overwhelming at times in the beginning. I would like to offer a bit of assistance when you are ready use the chat room.
1. I always advise you watch for a bit, the room gets busy sometimes and hard to follow at first.
2. You will see some joking and even laughter, you will also see tears and breakdowns. The people here are here to support and be supported by peers.
3. Looking at the chat you will see that the left window has a sliding bar that tells you who is online (they may be on another part of the site though) 
4. If you click on a name in the side bar this should open up a private chat or PC as we call it.
5. I f you receive a PC a red # will show under the main lobby with the name and icon of the person it is from or if you sent it to someone
6. Your first entry:
This is hit or miss, it really depends on when you jump in if lots of folks are chatting you can easily get missed. I recommend just saying Hi I am new and give whatever info you want (hi I am Arnie From NJ and today I am 3 months and 3 days out) this way if others are from NJ they may want to know more.
Ok once you do go into the lobby be ready as the questions are needed and they are sometimes gentile, sometimes the questions fly at you. Please take your time here as if this is new for you this may open you up emotionally, and it is normal to feel this and from what i am told a needed part of trying to begin to live again.
8. Most people on the chat are women as of now but the men that are involved are very respectful and sometimes fun.
9. Remember almost no one knew each other until they came here. 
10. Good luck and I sent you a friend request, lets face it near or far we need support, and with so many from around the world there is almost always someone on. 
ALSO using internet explorer is problematic with chat so Firefox appears to be the best..

I hope this long winded letter helps you in the beginning and again SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

At 1:43pm on May 16, 2012, wannabmartha said…

So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad that you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same journey together some further down the road than others. Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help.


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