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  • Cowpens, SC
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job4348's Discussions

Hope no one else has this problem

Started this discussion. Last reply by armywidow Dec 7, 2012. 10 Replies

yesterday in the mail I received a letter from IRS. Seems my husbands name and ss number had been used to file "more than one" tax return for the year 2010.They advice me to check and monitor my…Continue

Introvert or extrovert does it determine how a we get through?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Cat Jan 27, 2012. 6 Replies

Just watching article about how we handle ourselves depending on which you are.  I am a introvert .(even though I have been told I am so friendly). I feel the need to laugh and be around people…Continue


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At 4:34am on March 19, 2012, judy said…


Thank you - I've been in Nj with my sister and her family - it is hard and keep telling her that I will be with her on this long journey.

At 2:01pm on March 16, 2012, Maggie gram said…

My husband passed away just two months ago on January 15th.  He also had COPD.  He was very sick and was in the hospital 7 times since January 4th last year.  This last time he went in on December 16 and never cam home till I brought his ashes home on January 29th. 

I have 7 grandchildren  A couple of them are not blood but they are my grandkids just the same.  I have Cassandra 22, Rebekah 16, Xcylur(pronounced skyler) also 16, Whitney 17, Raymond 13, Seth 9 and AJ who is Aaron who will be two.

I tell you, this is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with in my life.  I kept telling him I was not ready to give him up but little did I know how true that was.  I have never felt such pain in my life.  I thought I would go insane when my mother passed away in 1988 but it is not the same.  I know it is just going to take time and I have to go through these things to heal but that doesn't make it any easier. 

By the way, I live in San Diego.

At 11:27am on March 16, 2012, Maggie gram said…

Thank you.  I appreciate the encouragement.  That little guy is my grandson AJ and he will be two the 26the of this month.  He is so cute and so very smart.  A very real joy in my life and he cheers me up when I am around him.  

Yes, I am a crafter.  I love doing a lot of different kinds of crafts.  I sew some and knit a little.  Mostly crochet and beading and polymer clay and I like to paint plaster stuff and acrylic stuff that I purchase at the craft store.  I haven't done much in the past few months because of my husbands illness and death but plan to get back to it soon.  I also got me a piano and I spend time playing it and I love to read.

At 9:26am on March 12, 2012, Macduff (Hal) said…

Brenda, we didn't always take showers together (she'd get up and go to aerobics at 5:30 AM and come back and shower before I was even up lots of time)

- but whenever I take a shower now I can visualize Betty in the shower with me.... how I'd hug her and... you know the wonderful somewhat but not really sexual intimacy of being able to do that....


At 6:05am on March 7, 2012, SCGurl said…

Thank you for responding Brenda.  I am still trying to figure out the mechanics of this site, you know, like where to post what and where to virtually hang out. We have a community near me called Cowtail.  I don't think I have heard of Cowpens before although I probably have since I have lived here in SC my entire life.  My husband passed 1/31/2011 so I am 13 months into this journey.  I love your attitude on accepting that this is how your life is now.  IN fact, I think I am also  on my way to accepting that as well.We were married 30 years and have two sons, one is 29 and the other is 18.  The 18 year old is still at home with me, although he will be going to college in the Fall.  He will just commute and live with me a while longer though.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I am familiar with COPD and know that it is a really tough struggle.  My husband died of melanoma (skin cancer).  That is a disease that I also don't think people take serious.  He was only 45 years old.  Too young!!!  If you have done the math, yes, he was 15 (almost 16) when we married.  I was a child bride for real.  Seems like times were different back then, I shudder to think any of my children were ready to marry at 15.  I miss him with every breath I take.  I am not selfish enough to wish him back from the wondrous glories I know God has bestowed on him, but I just hurt so.  Any suggestions or tips you have on using this site would be appreciated.  Nice getting to know you and I hope you have a wonderful day.

At 3:43pm on March 4, 2012, Jim said…

Thanks for the warm welcome, Brenda.  I'm looking forward to being a part of the group.

At 12:13pm on February 28, 2012, Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya) said…

Hi Brenda- thank you for sharing your spring connection with me- it is amazing, beautiful, and further validation that our loved ones take care of us through the end. In my dad's case, he waited until the day after my mom's birthday to pass on. While so much remains a mystery, there are many, many moments of serendipity...

I hope you are having a peaceful day...

At 6:13am on February 27, 2012, Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya) said…

Thanks heart goes out to you- I know how hard the first few years are but it's great that you are seeking support and comfort to get you through. Two things came to mind after reading your post: 3/20 is the first day of Spring. I know this because in 1999, it was the day Sergio (my late fiance) and I opened our gift shop, Inner Peace. I find it amazing, poetic even, that after years of battling the after-effects of Agent Orange, your husband left on this day, a day signifying "new life". It is also the day you began your "new life", and though you didn't choose it and you are in the depths of grief right now, you will reach a place of peace- just hold your sorrow gently along the way.

The second thing I wanted to share with you was that while I can't personally ever comprehend the level and additional layers of loss that comes with spending 43 years with my love (I only had 7 with Sergio), I can tell you again that you will find peace. My father died in 1998 after battling strokes over a five-year-period, and after 38 years of marriage my mom was also thrown into Grief Ocean. She took it minute by minute, day by day, and in 2004 made a move close to me in Miami to retire. Dating is not an option for her, and she is ok with that- my Dad was the only one for her. While she misses him every day, she is loving her life again, enjoying her freedom to come and go as she pleases, doting on her dog Guinness, and traveling to see my siblings and their children. She is at peace.

I hope this comforts you in some way- you are in my prayers...

Hold your sorrow gently- you will get through this- you are getting through this... 

At 8:53am on February 26, 2012, Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya) said…

Hi Brenda-

I am sorry for your loss...

Thank you for your message earlier-I have 3 and 4 year-old daughters and it's challenging getting time on the computer so forgive my late response-I'm also still trying trolling around seeing how to navigate the site. 

I am not new to "widowville"- I lost my firefighter fiance on September 11th and am now living happily ever after with my husband and girls. I signed on with the hopes of being a support to those of you on the journey after me- it is a long and painful road, but thankfully there is another side. 

Wishing you love, comfort, and blessings...

At 4:45am on February 18, 2012, mrs4evr said…

I know what you mean.  I have been doing really well lately and then all of a sudden I have a flash or something and it feels like someone sucked the wind out of me.  Then I start crying uncontrollably and get furious.  I want to hit something or go run as fast as I can.  I feel like why us?  My children and I didn't deserve this. Then I go to my Bible and try to find answers there.  Haven't found one yet but I hope it will make my faith stronger.


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