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kenslove
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So many different identities....

Started this discussion. Last reply by chef (John) Nov 15. 16 Replies

For 25 years, I was Ken's girl.  Before that, I was a daughter, a divorcee and a single mom.  For the past year and a half, I have been a widow.Now, for the first time ever, I am ready to be me.  Its…Continue

Tags: on, moving

My first anniversary- alone

Started this discussion. Last reply by kenslove Mar 13. 5 Replies

My husband and I were together for 25 years, but were only married last April when he realized he wouldn't be with us much longer.  He wanted me to get his social security, but he only lived for 20…Continue

It's time to see you through our eyes

Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan Mar 21. 7 Replies

My husband asked me once how you can tell if it's really love. I told him it's when you learn to love yourself because of the way you see yourself reflected in The other persons eyes. When they…Continue

I feel like it's killing me inside, but I can't actually f feel it

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Aug 22, 2016. 2 Replies

One of the things I brought my husband and I together when we first met was that we had both been through very painful experiences with former relationships. One of the things I learned to do before…Continue

 

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Latest Activity

chef (John) replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Congratulations, Patrick. You also have an excellent vocabulary to describe both the situation of being widowed and the process of continuing to live. [One of my "milestones" was transitioning from using "our" to…"
Nov 15
Patrick replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"When I accepted Sharon was dead I found that many of my hopes, dreams and expectations no longer made sense and I set about dismantling them. During that time I found it difficult to sustain motivation to do anything; I was studying a music course…"
Nov 15
WolfgalVal replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Thanks barbee for this inspirational post.  I too wish to embrace moving forward in life. - Peace."
Nov 12
barbee replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"After my husband died I moved to another city and bought a house. I had to buy furniture and do some major remodeling. I was 72 years old. Scared the living-bejesus outta me! That was almost five years ago. Now, looking back, I see  they…"
Nov 10
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Good Morning Kenslove,      I know what you mean by making decisions on your own. When I decided to replace our old sofa/recliner with a smaller love seat, I actually turned around to ask Paul for what he thought about the color I…"
Nov 10
kenslove replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Some things I will never get rid of.  Photos are top of that list.  I also wear some of Ken's clothes- the ones that fit.  I have also been getting rid of the paperwork from our business, which I shut down shortly after he died.…"
Nov 9
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Hi!    That's the sort of thing we did. Signing car & truck in my name. plus all finances in my name. It kind of hurt to sign them though. Susan"
Nov 8
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Ron and I were/are both avid travelers so yes, Ron knew it would be good for me.  I've done plenty of business travel on my own so I'm used to finding my way around places. I hadn't thought of it but I did a lot of the…"
Nov 7
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Athena,     I'm glad you enjoyed the cruise. Maybe Ron somehow knew you would need the trip.      Since Paul and I knew way ahead of time what was coming. We did have time for planning things. I felt like a robot going…"
Nov 7
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"I know what you mean, Susan.  I've been over and over it and I guess it's the way I'm wired and the discussions Ron and I had before he died as well as anticipatory grief.  I'd also been able to keep up outside…"
Nov 7
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Hi Athena!    I didn't have the paralyzing grief many speak of either. Could it be that we had what is called Anticipatory Grief?  When some say how deeply they are grieving, and I don't feel it THAT deep. It makes…"
Nov 7
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Hi Kenslove,    Many Identities! I think we all have them. I was first a daughter, Paul's Girlfriend, Then I became his wife. Now he's in Heaven and I'm here.  I KNOW that is called being a widow. But to me…"
Nov 7
WolfgalVal replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Thanks for sharing this, Athena53.  My soulmate was also 14 years my senior and we too lived very much "in the moment."  We all can gain much from integrating all those parts of our personalities and embracing the future best we…"
Nov 7
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"I still can't get used to the word "widow".   It reminds me of sorrowful figures dressed in black. I've just decided that that's ONE of the many things I am- Mom, Grandma, a retired actuary, an avid bicyclist and…"
Nov 7
Callie2 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Kenslove, there is no timetable for grief. We can't just move on by making changes until our hearts have healed enough so as not to create more pain. My advice, don't push too hard. Maybe in another six months to a year you will be more…"
Nov 6
Patience (Diane) replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Good question! I'll be watching this with interest! I keep busy with all sorts of gardening, volunteer work and my part time job. I enjoy meeting and chatting with random people in my travels... :-)"
Nov 6

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At 4:28am on July 29, 2016, Laurel1950 said…

Thank you for your response.  I'm new at this website.  I am trying to get into going out with women that are widows too.  I need adult companionship.  I love my daughter and granddaughter very much, but I need some other interaction. 

At 4:53pm on June 14, 2016, Joyce said…

Welcome kenslove: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat.You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences.  Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"

 
 
 

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