Puddy, you are welcome for the prayer, although, I'm not sure which prayer you are referring to. It seems like often when I'm reading posts, I feel like I need to share a prayer. I don't hear God talking to me, like I hear some people say, but I guess that little nudge to post a prayer is Him telling me to share with someone, so I'm very happy my prayer spoke to you.
I imagine the last two weeks have been very hard for most of us. I think, I hope, I pray that next year the holiday season will be easier for you. You are right at one year behind me on this journey, and I can tell you this year the holiday season was much better than last year. I still don't think I had much joy, but I didn't have much dispare either. Maybe next year I will feel joy.
God bless you as you continue on this journey. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."
I am the process of planning a Holiday Bash for widows in or near Central Pennsylvania for sometime in mid-December on a weeknight. So far we have an offer for a private room in a restaurant in New Holland (Eastern Lancaster County) with no obligation to purchase a meal or drinks, just a nice place to hang with one another. If you're interested, please join in on this conversation: http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/central-pennsylvania-holiday-dinner?xg_source=activity Thank you!
Dear, I hope you can take some time to reflect today on your birthday, and perhaps even relish some happy memories or look ahead to what future years will bring you. The first year is full of many landmarks... and landmines.... I hope you can create some insulation or maybe just find a little chocolate to help you through each one.
it is unfathomable.... at 3 mos. i think i was just finishing all the 'busy' detail work.. .stuff thaT kept me from actually feeling. at six months it's still raw and i am trying to make sense of it. second guessing, replaying the 'video' in my mind of the last minutes, pleading to the heavens to take me, have been replaced with insomnia, cherished memories playing in my mind, and an unearthly aching and emptiness. i know we all will get through this, i just can't imagine life beyond... still working out that one, who i am after...
Hi again Puddy, I forgot to say if it was your 'shrink' who told you the emotional dependency thing, has that person ever lost a spouse/child? If not, perhaps a grief counselor might be more appropriate for you at this stage. A grief counselor named Tom Golden says the following which I believe is true, even of psychiatrists:
"Our culture is not a safe place to grieve. With the massive denial of death that occurs, there is a resulting disdain for grief. Both men and women are forced into a situation where their grief is not honored by the culture or the people around them."
HI Puddy, thank you for being a friend. I'm 5.5 months into this new path and do admit that I'm getting 'used' to being alone. The horror is gone now but that doesn't mean I like it, enjoy it, or don't feel saddened about the whole thing. So yes, I think it will get 'easier' for you too. You're still very new on this journey, because I remember 2 months was when the full reality was just starting to sink in-- it was a really hard time.
Anyway, I'm trying really hard to keep in touch with my truly supportive church members, bible study members, and neigbors to keep from going off the deep end. My husband was my best friend so it's hard not having that confidante. I hope you have lots of people to spend some time with every now and then! Hugs, Braunie
Puddy...I forgot to say 'good for you' for going to the gift party! I totally understand your feelings. With many of the family events I go to I end up wishing I didn't, but I go to some of them anyway. Yes, I am close to the Catskills, right on the edge. Take care!
Hi Puddy, it is good that you took a long walk with your dog. I need to do that, but just can't make myself go. And I don't have a dog for company (another story). I spend most of my time on the computer, unless I go out to cut the grass. Yes, my work is slow now, so I spend a lot of time on Facebook. I also start to browse the Internet for something that interests me and get lost in it. I know I spend too much time on the computer, but it gets me through the days, so I don't care. I do take myself out once in a while. I plan to go to the Woodstock museum soon to see a new exhibit. At the end of Aug. is a wine festival there that I am trying to gather some family members to go to with me (I went last year by myself). My niece will be moving into her new house in Aug. and I will help, and her baby shower is on 9/11. I see my other nice once a month usually; they might come over for dinner on the 31st and spend the night. I just wish I could meet some local widows my age to socialize with.
You are right, the meltdowns like you just had will come and go. But, eventually they get farther apart. You can expect odd triggers, though because the stress builds up until it doesn't take much to trigger a setback. But this will happen less too. I am glad you want to keep the dialogue going. I am always ready to chat with you. Hugs, Patti