For those who don't know me I am 55 and a 2nd time widow moving through life with 3 kids, 1 son-in-law and various grandpuppies and kittens. I'm also from Australia so you Americans will have to pardon the spelling etc hehehe.
I'm approaching 15 years since my first husband died from brain tumours. And I can honestly say I still wish he were with us then I wouldn't have to explain all the craziness that is my life these days. His children have grown into twenty-somethings with lives of their own but all keep in close contact with dear old mum. Most days I remember very fondly our life together and talk about what is happening with our brood, keeping him updated just in case he wasn't paying attention. I imagine there is lots to keep him busy in heaven, so someone has to keep him up to date. We have lost a lot of cricket legends over the past few years so there should be quite an all-stars match running everyday.
Our eldest turned 30 (WHERE DID THAT TIME GO???) so you have been gone for half her life. Yesterday we met with her new disability planner to map out resources needed for the next 12 months. It was good to note how stable her life now was and not the constant round of doctors visits and such which interfere with real life. She is studying, driving, has a full social life, wants to work towards a part-time job while studying and she has a wicked black cat called Arya. All the things we wanted for her she now has in her life! What a wonderful outcome for her and I am totally blown away at how far we have come since that first body blow the day she was born.
Our middle child has been very independent for over a decade and I couldn't be prouder of where he is now, studying, working, busy social life and the proud dad to Max...an 18 month old Great Dane. He's always been a dog person so it was no surprise when he returned from a year in London wanting to have a dog in his life. Little did I know he really wanted a pony, but they didn't have those at the local pound so Max it was. He has grown enormously since we brought him home as an 8 week puppy, but he still likes to think he is the same size...it's just such a squeeze into those tight spots but he makes himself fit...mostly.
Our youngest has been married for 12 months now and we enjoyed a wonderful celebration. She is enrolled at uni to study nursing, the proud mum to 2 fluffy pups and adores her husband.
All these life changes have been exciting tinged with a touch of sadness as he is missing all these wonderful experiences. So I make sure I talk to him regularly, keeping him updated. I think he would be so proud of them all, although perhaps a little worried for my sanity...oh well. So 15 years later that intimacy has remained, even if it is one sided. The memories we shared I cherish to this day. The life we had together was too short but it was the time of our lives. I know he will always be with me as I carry him in my heart. At the time I thought my life was over, but it turns out it was just the end of that chapter. He might not physically be with me but he never misses anything. Don't worry about all the pitying looks you get as you share a joke with your dearly departed, and you will get them lol, just enjoy the conversation...it goes on