Widowed Village

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A "Fine" widow

I put Jacob in his crib and said "Good Night Baby, Happy Birthday".  And then it happened, grief punched me in the gut.  I barely made it out of his room before I fell in a heap on the floor sobbing. He is 2 and he needs his daddy!  The daddy in all the pictures, the daddy He Won't Remember (that's devastating).  

As I lay in a heap on the floor I am back there 2 years ago in that hospital.  We are as happy as two people could be.   We had a tiny, beautiful, healthy baby boy.  I can see his face, Bill is overjoyed!
And then, it's 1 year ago, we are back in that same hospital.  We are as brave as two people could be.  We had a horrifying diagnosis. I can see his face, Bill is determined- to fight this no matter what. And I tell him at least a hundred times, "We Need You! I Can't Do This Without You!  
I hate, that in that hospital a few weeks later, I whisper in his ear, "It's OK Honey, We'll Be Fine...."

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Comment by cec on August 4, 2012 at 12:40pm
Fine ...what a word.....I'm sorry
Comment by mem5711 (Denise) on July 28, 2012 at 8:44pm

I'm so sorry for your pain....I too can't imagine being a widow with small children.... (((((Hugs))))) and (((((Love)))) to you. 

Comment by Poppys Girl on July 28, 2012 at 3:43pm

My heart hurts so much for you...I can't imagine what it is like to be a widow with small children. Your post humbled me.  May your days get better, there are no words to take away your loss as it is huge. God Bless you and your son.

Poppy's girl

Comment by Ccdague on July 28, 2012 at 12:51pm
(((((hugs)))))wrap yourself in our caring today.
Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on July 28, 2012 at 12:40pm

Oh SheriAnne..when i read your story i felt so..so selfish. I have had my share of days when i felt so sorry for myself ..because i only got two years with my husband. To read the many stories here, i am touched by how much bigger it must be to carry on with little children. I just can't imagine what that "gut punch" feels like. There's nothing I can say to make it better, except that I am thinking of you and sending "electronic" comfort hugs. and I believe that you ARE brave.

Comment by Blue Snow on July 28, 2012 at 12:17pm

{{{{{hugs}}}} I hate it when our emotions turn on a dime, so unpredictable and your "grief punched me in the gut" is the perfect way to describe how it feels.

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