A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
It's over three months since my beloved husband John died after a more than three year battle with two types of blood cancer - leukemia and then multiple myeloma as well.
This is my first blog post on this site where I mostly look at the Widowed in 2012 group comments.
I thought I'd share something.
This morning I woke with sun streaming through the bedroom window and realised it would be a beautiful, springlike day (it's the end of winter down under).
Suddenly I realised that for once the day didn't stretch ahead empty but was a blank canvas on which I could create anything. I felt a sense of freedom for the first time, rather than emptiness.
I think that's an advance for me.
Of course translating thought into action is difficult but at least I've felt a sense of freedom rather than loss. Wonder if that makes sense to others?
Saw my grief counsellor yesterday and she was very helpful. She thinks it's good that I've organised some projects such as driving lessons - have had three formal ones so far and another happening early Saturday.
I plan to contact the Education Department to see how I can revive my teaching qualification - that phonecall has been on the backburner for a while but I'll need to earn at least part time money soon because the government bereavement allowance cuts out this fortnight and my income will drop by around $250 a fortnight...so that's a motivation to look for work.
I also need to start listing items on eBay so will make myself list the spare refrigerator that's been sitting plugged in for months.
There's still a lot to get my head around but at least I woke up feeling more positive.