Today I feel abandoned. I have friends who said they would always
Be here for us. Where are they now. The witness( Matron of honor) at our wedding I can never get a hold of, she won't answer. My best friends my entire life have written me off as old and perhaps "dead"
Not old news or dead not choosing to live. Just dead. I could not be here now and it wouldnt affect them at all. It's sad. I've helped these people through life. Not saying this to toot my own horn but to jus be honest. They have stayed at my house. I has taken care of their kids. Gave them. Yes gave them not loaned them money. And all I need is a friendly voice of someone I have known forever who knows me to answer the phone. Like I said I'm dead. People wonder why widows are so sad and can't snap out of it. It because when our spouse dies. We do too. Our life is over to so many of our peers that it's hard to pick up or wanna even try to go on. My family has even done this to some extent. I'm closer to some of my inlaws than my own family. And it would all be ok if I had my best friend in my arms but you see he died on Christmas day which started this avalanche Of emotions and loss of friends. I have no energy to be people's go to anymore. I'd say they can come to me. But unless they need something we know that won't happen. I've been abandoned by the people I loved, care about, and need the most. Only one has an excuse see he went to be with the lord on Christmas day.
I have a few friends I never thought I would be my shoulders my rocks. I don't call often or text often but I can depend on them. I hear back with in minutes sometimes hours. The ones I counted on well I just don't hear or talk to them till I call again and at some point they answer. So like I said I'm dead. Dead to a world and family and friends I use to have. I use to know