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and she falls
I am taking vacation next week. I usually am excited for a whole week off. I am not. A week at the cabin usually refreshes me. The water does that for me. I am hopeful...if I ever get there. I am not ready. Haven't been shopping, haven't packed. Not sure I want to go anymore. Part of me wants to stay home. Pack up his cloths finally. Clean out the bedroom. Move the furniture around. Finally.
I will go. The grass has to be cut. It will be a jungle up there after all the rains. But I am not excited. Sigh. It just isn't much fun without him.
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Comment
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Comment by smit09 on June 30, 2012 at 7:51pm -
Jean, it's totally okay to fall... we've already gotten up from the hardest, most devastating fall and for the most part should be quite proud of how we've been dusting off...these little falls along the way should be looked upon as "tripping"...still on your feet! :)
I wish you peace once you get there...take time for you and breathe darlin' ... I'll be doing some major outdoor yard work here, and once its all done, I plan to enjoy the hammock.
ENJOY your vacation...no doubt it will be different, and perhaps tinged with sadness, but perhaps it will be refreshing and different.
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Comment by Suz on June 29, 2012 at 2:59pm -
Jean,
Just plain not fair. I am two people taking care of a big house and I have fibromyalgia besides. I am so annoyed. You are one taking care of two and now you have to do the work! Time to whine a bit and sigh and then get it done. The tasks seem to be nonending, don't they?
Hugs,
Suz
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Comment by bad ass widow on June 29, 2012 at 2:07pm -
Jean, Go. I think sometimes think we let the anticipation of the differences get in our way. Once the grass is mowed, you will have time to refresh even if its only for a day. When Keith first died, I put thousands of miles on my truck every weekend going to a friends cabin in WIsconsin and every time I did not pack anything until 10 minuted before I left, but I always came home a little bit more relaxed and a little more ready to attack the stuff at home.
(((Hugs)))
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Comment by Dianne in Nevada on June 29, 2012 at 10:09am -
Sometimes being forced to do something is what is best for us in the long run, Jean. I hope that needing to cut the grass at the cabin ends up doing that for you. Go up there - get refreshed - and then the tasks at home may be a bit easier.
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