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Another day without you, A day without my love another day with you not here… with you, above.

Each day I wake up sleepy, and roll to see your side empty as my heart, since the day that you died.

Each day I must wake, and face the brand new day Just to realize once again, that you've gone away.

It’s often just too painful and more than I can bear to face the world alone, for we are no longer a pair.

My partner in love, my partner in life, we were so much more, than husband and wife.

You were my partner in crime, my secret holder, my biggest fan, and always gave me your shoulder.

We’d lay in bed and talk, sometimes for hours about everything, nothing…even baby showers. You shared your fear, your dream, and your hope as I did mine, for together we’d cope.                   

Sometimes on occasion, you’d forget to see, but darling I never once felt, you forgot about me.

I felt your love each and every day constantly showing you cared, in your own way.

“How did I get so lucky?” You’d always say. I was the lucky one, to have you each day. You’d jump through hoops, to make me happy. I’d giggle and nudge you, saying stop being so sappy.

How much I would give, for one more time. You looking in my eyes, and saying you’re mine. One more time, of feeling your stare… One more time, with your fingers through my hair.

So go on without you, is what I must do. Start fresh and move on, my life is new. I’m trying baby, but the road is tough. Not having you here, is more than rough.

 I’ll talk to you at night and hope that you hear. Perhaps I’ll feel it, when you are close to me.. near?

 I’ll get up and keep going, the way that I should, I just might make it, you always told me I could. 

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Comment by Hanh on April 1, 2014 at 1:26am
Thanks Indiakai, it's great to know that it's possible, to see light again. 33 days now without John, every morning is bloody hard, everyday is hard, just wake up n it hits me again that John is gone. So sorry we are here in this journey...
Comment by IndiaKai on March 21, 2014 at 3:10pm

You have a reason to exist. Though hard to see right now in the fog that surrounds you, but there is a reason Hanh.  I too haven't felt like there wasn't a reason for me to be here anymore. Longing to just be taken in my sleep so I can be with Toby.  The fog lifts.... I see light.  It's not really close enough for me to touch, but there is a dim light. I  see there is light at the end of this very long tunnel we travel.  

Comment by Hanh on March 13, 2014 at 5:23pm
Another day is hard. Waking up and figure out ur gone is hard. Don't know when I can be familiar with this new path _without you? This was not ur plan, my plan, not our plan... My heart is breaking thinking of you :((
Feel like I have no reason to be exist today...

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