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On May 24th, 2013 my husband (Douglas) passed from ALS.   Today I'm extra sad...then I looked at the date, with tears in my eyes its 9 months today, thats it thats why I'm extra sad. 

But. what I have really reflected on is as this month has passed I have had 3 major family events.  One event was my mother in laws 80 birthday party (Douglas's Mom) which was about 20 family members. Second event was my sisters and I get together for our annual sisters brunch and yesterday my sons 24th birthday party.

All very beautiful days with all very beautiful people and very special events in my life.  I feel beyond blessed to have

all my family in my life with their love and support.  so what is my problem??? besides grief, besides everyday lifes ups

and downs.

Ohhhh this is it......it Is his fading legacy, memory, his very strong personality, his ability to give asking nothing in return and most important is what we would call our crazy LOVE.   As family and I celebrated these last  three events in the past month he comes up less and less in conversation.

I feel like if I dont say something about him, he will fade.    I had to mention his name he lived 55 years it scares me to know that his memory might disappear and I can only be sad.    Death is still so new to me, he was the closest person to me, and experiencing death

with someone your so close to is so very hard to let go. 

Be Blessed and Thanks for reading.....

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Comment by Mariposa on February 25, 2014 at 3:32pm

Kathleen- (((HUGS!))) So sorry for your loss. At 9 months out your loss is still fresh. I remember experiencing the very thing you describe- that others don't want to talk about your lost loved one. We widows/widowers want to talk about our lost loved ones.  He will always live in your heart, but I know it is so hard that your relatives don't seem to want to bring him up as much. Everytime I mentioned my husband's name to his brothers during a phone call, they would get quiet.

It make me think of the song that has the refrain, "Say my name, say my name." I can't remember who sings it.

Peace, comfort, strength and healing to you!

Barb

Comment by Kathleen on February 24, 2014 at 8:40pm
Thank You Laura!!! That was beautiful!!!!
Comment by laurajay on February 24, 2014 at 3:45pm

Oh Kathleen.  Douglas lives forever in your heart. Forever.  His soul rejoices now in the presence of the Lord. In peace he awaits your reuniting one day. You are doing the right thing in the kingdom now.  God's will be done on earth....In the ground I have little bulbs of crocus....seen only briefly each spring but never forgotten.  You will always have the woman you became because of his love...that is evidence of you maintaining his memory...  All beautiful things stay alive if we place them in our hearts.  WE have never been asked to look back  .  We have been asked to come up higher.  You are not letting go you are trusting God  with Douglas'  eternal care.  All is well.   love lj

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