Aside from the obvious - what is wrong with me?!?

Comment

Comment by honeys(puddin) on August 19, 2012 at 11:56am

I am not alone.  Thank you all.  Had such a bad night I'm going to take a nap which is something I never do.  I'm exhausted from lack of sleep and grief.  This sucks.  I hate to see what tomorrow brings.  Thanks all.

Comment by Susan J on August 19, 2012 at 10:19am

Grief is an E ticket ride. I never knew I had this many emotions! I THOUGHT I was a very rational and controlled woman. HA! I am almost 2.5 years and last weekend was one of the worst. I stayed in bed all day Sunday and finally got up at 5 pm to shower. These weekends are fewer and further between, but I have had to accept that they many never go away. This is all part of the new me. The new me is a strong, compassionate and loving woman who occassionally has a total breakdown.

Comment by janet on August 19, 2012 at 9:03am

Honeyspuddin, I also thought I was doing better until June.  I cried everyday of June, June and part of this month.  I could not understand why I was crying so much and so hard until I realized that we were in Corozal, Belize C.A. this time last year.  It's like one step forward and three steps backward some days.  Be gentle with yourself.

Sending hugs you way.

Comment by honeys(puddin) on August 19, 2012 at 8:22am

Everyone thank you so much for the kind words.  This is really my first major setback.  Don't get me wrong I think I've cried my soul out since day one but eventually I felt like I was regaining some of my composure at least one increment at a time.  I still cried everyday but not as severe and not as many times during the day.  Really felt like I was through the worst.  Went to sleep crying and woke up crying.  Sigh.  Back to the ole drawing board and start this process all over again.  I am wiped out.  Again, thanks for being here for me:)

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on August 19, 2012 at 1:25am

Honey, there's not a thing wrong with you "aside than the obvious".  Yes, this happens. And, unfortunately, it will happen again. Appreciate those good days and be kind to yourself when the bad ones hit. Important dates are often the trigger ... but, then again, they can hit without warning.  Embrace them. Wrap yourself up in the precious memories of your wedding day and be grateful for that day.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~Kahlil Gibran

Comment by bettye on August 19, 2012 at 12:20am

Today is the 1st anniversary of my husbands death.  The past two weeks have been the roughest yet. And yes you can be doing fine and right out of nowhere something can trigger tears.  Grief is an odd thing.  Hang in there.  You are not unusual.  This is all part of the grieving process.

Comment by bad ass widow on August 18, 2012 at 11:52pm

Up and down, forward and backward, round and round, it is the roller coaster of grief.  I agree, you need to be gentle with yourself.  We put so much pressure on ourselves in the days leading up to a significant date, whether we realize it or not.

(((hugs)))

Comment by Marsha on August 18, 2012 at 11:11pm

Honeyspuddin, yes we move forward until the tidal wave comes and knocks us down. This is so true especially in the beginning. Treat yourself gently. This journey is one hell of a roller coaster ride. It does gradually get better. No set rules on the process. We are all different. It does take time. ((((((Hugs)))))

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on August 18, 2012 at 11:00pm

honeyspuddin...grief is like that.  Yes.  We take steps forward..then back.  Significant dates..yes..they send us for a reel..NOTHING is wrong with you. I myself was feeling much more positive..then 6 month mark came..and BAM..right back to sobbing again.  This is NOT something that goes in "stages"..it is an unfolding..and it is unpredictable.  Try to be extra special nice to yourself..this is hard.

Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on August 18, 2012 at 10:21pm

Sedning warm HUGS  ... 14 weeks and your Aniversary... This is a "journey" I call it a Real roller coaster ride, treat yourself gently. Everyone goes through this process.. called "grief" and there is No set time.  We will take steps forward .. and the steps back.. well they are not really back.. just your emotions and feelings..

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