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 Its been awhile since I have been on WV.  My Friend Arnie  remarried Congrates wish the two of you the best.

I had Met my late wife Patricia  on the internet, and figured I try some of the dating websites. with no so good luck as Im not a loaner.

 Last ditch  I went to the same site I met Patricia figuring Well that site worked Once   what are the chances of twice?

On the last day of my subscription. I get a hit from a woman 4 years younger than I am

.Im not exactly what she was used to. she had  been married twice before.

 she posted she liked taller men 5'11" +   I am only 5'7"   so is she..   We met for lunch. stars at first sight between both of us.

at 3 months she moved in.... she is a Chef and Dietition.  From stress  I went from 200 to 290lbs...   in the 9+ moths we are now together. I am back to around 205lbs and feeling great. . Life is almost Awesome.

My Kids are Now the Problem.

 My Daughter (19) graduated high school this past June, and now attending College. living with her mother( first wife)

and Hates me because I brought My new lady  to her graduation. and just causing  Problems...

 My  son (22) has lived with me all through since the Divorce in 2007 and the wedding and Death of Patricia.

 Now last week suddenly  Patti's death hit him, and he had a breakdown that he was on suicide watch. and Now hates me  Because  I am allowing the new lady

 to change the house around from the way Patti had it. He says she left Everything to him. thinks He owns the house., because of this He just lost his job. His girlfriend Cheated on him. HE HATES WOMAN. and is Now Fighting  and Driving me to the Point of wanting to  do I  cannot say.

I cannot live in my own home. he scares me.  I can only Evict him under court order.  I just do not know how to Control the kids.

and loosing my mind and sleep Over it. Lost my Voice for over a week now...(Help me find it) still have some sense of Humor.

Im ready To move on as Per Patricia's request in her last message to me, But the Kids won't let me   HHHHH EEE LLL PPPP...

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Comment by grover71780 on December 13, 2015 at 8:25pm

So just to understand this; You were married once, had two kids then divorced. Then met another woman and she passed on. Now you are living with a third woman. What was the time difference between the relationships? You are dealing with two people who had their worlds blown apart twice, first by divorce and then by death. Sounds like both your "kids" need grief counselling to help them deal with their emotions. You have to recognize your part in this mess. The way you describe it you started dating the new woman relatively quickly. You have every right to do that and even it is more common for a man to move on more quickly than a woman. The problem is you needed to be more upfront with them form the beginning and tell them where you are on the grief spectrum and  you will be respectful to where they are. You need to apologize to your daughter. That was the biggest day of her life and you bring a date? Your new girlfriend might be the best woman in the world and perfect for you but your daughter doesn't know her or how to handle it.You need to tell her that you are sorry and that you should have asked her first. Your son seems to be a lot more complicated. He might be dealing with grief and abandonment issues (every woman in his life has left and/or hurt him). He definitely needs therapy. Either way you need to recognize him to be an adult and treat him as such. If you need a court order to evict him then do it. let him see consequences for his choices and you have a right to feel safe in your home. I you know what Patricia left for him make sure he has it and no more. 

You have to right to live your life as you see fit. Just remember you kids are apart of your life and whatever choice you make will affect them. They might not have any control but them having the knowledge might give them a sense of peace and a little surer footing in their lives.

Comment by Callie2 on December 13, 2015 at 6:51pm
I am sorry for your loss and what you are going through right now. Also very concerned about your son. Is it possible he still mourns the loss of his stepmother? Coupled with loss of job and possibly a girlfriend, could be the reason for the behavior? If you have had a decent relationship up till now, I would encourage you to try and reopen a line of communication, even family counseling. Don't allow this to fester any longer, get some help if refuses to have dialogue with you. I suspect there may be more going on with him and hollering can only make things worse as it puts him on the defensive. I am hoping you are able and can work things out and get him feeling emotionally stronger. This will require an enormous amount of inner strength on your part. I don't know what type of stress this will play upon your new relationship but if she cares for you, she will be willing to support your efforts. I am a stepparent who has experienced a lot of turmoil with blending families and the challenges it presents. I certainly understand he is a legal adult and putting him out or having him evicted may become necessary if he is unwilling to cooperate. You are entitled to some happiness and peace too. I really wish you all the best.
Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on December 13, 2015 at 1:00pm

Neal, perhaps you should sell the house and move to a new location that does not include your son.  Unfortunately, you cannot "control your kids", that is up to them.  I am not saying abandon them. But perhaps making it clear that they do not control your future is a message they need to hear. Along with, I love you, I am here for you, but you DO NOT get to tell me how to live my life.  "The kids won't let me" is not a realistic approach. You are a grown man, and so is he, and it is up to you both draw your boundaries. The fallout, have to be willing to accept it.  Good luck to you.

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