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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Its been 10months and while I don't cry as much and have accepted he is gone what remains is this need to find a foundation and to build a life for myself without him. I go through the motions...joined groups, met widows, spend time with family, etc. etc. but  what remains is a fragment of what my life was like with him. I died with him. Now  I want to carry on and find peace and a measure of contentment but where to start...what will make my life feel like it makes sense? I do not know but I refuse to give up. Each day I will continue the journey. I read somewhere that there is no path...your feet make the path. So, I keep on experimenting with what feels good or is meaningful. I pray I will know who I am in the future. This is so tiring.

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Comment by cloudwatcher on May 27, 2016 at 7:02pm

Hope, your name says it all.  You did not die with him.  Your life with him died with him.  I am almost 2 years out and I still find myself talking to him sometimes.  I am trying to stop, trying to move on.  (I never did the group thing and don't have family nearby or much of a support system. I had a couple of medium readings and last I heard he wanted me to move on.)  It sounds like you are doing all the right things and have the right attitude.  Be patient.  Find creative outlets, anything you can do to express yourself.  I got back into drawing and piano (rediscovering my younger self) and journaling.  And crocheting, mindless stuff, watching TV, walking.  Prayer.  Reading.  Being grateful for anything possible.  You have to give yourself time to grieve and grow into your new you at the same time.  Sleep.  That is what I have been best at these last couple years.  But I feel myself coming out of it.  Less grieving and more of "Who am I?"  You will too.  Take your time and take care of yourself.  Your feet will make the path to get through this grief, which is not over, and you must find a meaningful way to get through it and beyond it to your new self in time.

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