Its been 10months and while I don't cry as much and have accepted he is gone what remains is this need to find a foundation and to build a life for myself without him. I go through the motions...joined groups, met widows, spend time with family, etc. etc. but what remains is a fragment of what my life was like with him. I died with him. Now I want to carry on and find peace and a measure of contentment but where to start...what will make my life feel like it makes sense? I do not know but I refuse to give up. Each day I will continue the journey. I read somewhere that there is no path...your feet make the path. So, I keep on experimenting with what feels good or is meaningful. I pray I will know who I am in the future. This is so tiring.