Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Writing about emotional upheavals has been found to improve...physical and mental health...to reduce anxiety and depression, improve grades in college, and...aid people in securing new jobs.
from "Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions" by James Pennebaker, Ph.D
Writing has always been the way that I navigate through life. I naturally turn to a blank page to express my thoughts and emotions about significant events. Once these thoughts are on paper, they function as a way of organizing my internal experience; my own words become a personal map that indicates which direction I'm heading, and which route I might take to reach my destination.
I like to say, "Write it out, you'll feel better." And I mean it, at least over the long haul. Sometimes after writing it out, I feel a little worse for a while. But I do believe that when we write our truth, no matter how painful, we can move forward to new joys and new hope. I am writing my way through loss for everyone who has lost a part of their dream, but still believes there is more happiness out there and is willing to embrace it. One of the brilliant qualities of Widowed Village is the platform it gives people to "write it out" among others who understand. Thank you Supa, for that.
Five years have passed since my husband died. His life is over. My life with him is over. I have spent many months coming to this realization through my writing. It took me more than three years to be willing to really look deeply at my loss, to more fully acknowledge it. Everyone is different and moves at a different pace.
You might try some of the following sentence completion exercises to see where you currently stand in relation to your own loss. If you do these same exercises in a few weeks or months, your responses will likely be different.
What moving forward means to me now:
1. Not being defined solely by loss, although losing my husband has become a part of who I am.
2. Being willing to take on new challenges
3. Accept that a new degree of independence has become part of my life for now
4. A sense of grounded-ness
5. A greater appreciation for the good I have
6. Acquired strength
7. A better ability to separate what is worth worrying about and what isn't
Life Before My Loss Was:
(Old Life)
marriage
a partner
love
a sense of security
connection/attraction
a sense of rightness and solidity
theater, symphony, dinners out with my guy
hiking and biking
travels to look forward to with my husband
a father for my children
raising children with two parents
someone who is always there for me
Life After My Loss is:
(New Life)
me and the kids
the house
the bills
the unknown
a future alone or unmarried?
helping others through their loss
insecurity
feeling out-of-sync
understanding
appreciation for being alive
gratitude
strength
a commitment to writing
My New Road Looks Like This:
It's long, and I'm on my own.
I'm pushing and pulling at myself to keep going.
I have someone new in my life; not a husband; different; good but different
I'm open to interesting, new opportunities.
I want to rediscover the love of the unknown that I had when I was younger.
I can't see the end of the road, and I have faith in life's goodness.
I'm committed to a good journey, even if it sometimes gets difficult.
I enjoy having fun and meeting new people.
I give back what I can using my unique abilities.

Views: 20

Comment

You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

Comment by Jill on June 15, 2011 at 4:04am
Thanks Lisa.
Comment by Lisa ( Marielee) on June 14, 2011 at 10:53pm

Jill,

Great Idea!! I am a scrapbooker/ consultant and have been teaching classes for quite a few years. The last few I have been teaching a journal class the I call"Life Journal". This fits in there so nicely. I think I will incorporate your journal ideas.  Getting all the feelings and thoughts out on paper I think takes some of the stress we hold inside. Thank you for sharing!

Lisa

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service