This is a song that was written about the loss of a loved one. See this link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-hJ87ApWtw Lyrics are " This is what it is like when the Sacred is torn from your life and you survive.It seems so unfair. This is what it is like to be held."
It was sent to me by a friend who was grieving the loss of a tiny baby. But it applies to all losses of loved ones.
I am feeling the loss of Wes very severely this last week, as I struggle with various issues and problems that seem to go ON AND ON . There is a spiritual fight going on to survive it all. I am also in the process of organising a Celebration of his Life for next week. Again there were obstacles and blockages, as I had wanted it to be done in a relative's church . I wanted it to be joyous, to be able to sing songs of Love, to say thankyou for Wes in my life. To show his love, in the words he wrote on various birthday, Christmas and Anniversary cards. To have people who knew him share their thoughts. To have other widows there who understand. To have a morning tea of lovely food. So now I am arranging it at home.
I struggled to obtain the CD's that I could sing along with. Also to get a CD to sing a duet with another friend. To maybe show a little of our Wedding DVD to those who had met Wes more recently. I long for peace, for some happiness, and as Christmas shows up and I cannot put up our beautiful hand made, colourful Christmas Stockings anymore.... just get through my first Christmas. Without Wes my life is bare, scraped down to the lowest level, bereft of so much, yet overwhelmed with so much 'rubbish and turmoil". Many new friends and people with special skills have been brought in over this last year. I am very grateful for them. But still the battle rages on between good and evil. Constantly one prays for help, says thankyou for the blessings, and tries to get an exhausted body to have enough sleep to deal with the ongoing problems again and again.
Today I went out to get special food for the Celebration, organic, handmade, healthy, and beautiful fruit, cakes, scones, drinks, ice cream and more to Celebrate my beloved and share with others on this journey. I also went and sang Christmas carols in a choir this morning. We went to a place of "high care" with elderly residents. We had cards signed with love and a little gift for every one of them. I held the hand of an elderly man who was crying. Not sure whether he was crying for joy or sorrow. He could not speak much. All I knew was that I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. So sang and spoke with him - counting my blessings that I could go to my home later in the day. Finally songs I have gathered around me at this time, and some which I will use for Wes' Celebration are: ALL FOR LOVE, Annie's song - Wes's favourite, and a Jewish Ladino song of love. I have told Wes about this and he seems pleased with it all. I feel it will bring some joy to me, as Christmas itself will be very empty.