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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

The year 2016 is widely reviled as the year that took many famous people like David Bowie, Prince, Gene Wilder, and Carrie Fisher. But to me 2016 will always be the year that took my beloved husband from me and cheated me out of many happy years together.  He wasn’t famous, but he was the light of my life. I’ll never be the same after 2016. So please join me in giving 2016 a collective middle finger. Here’s hoping that 2017 will bring peace to us all. 

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Comment by iunderthefarmhouse on January 17, 2017 at 6:44am

Sherry, I get it. Thanks for the middle finger icon, I'm loving it! I feel the same way. 2016 took the love of my life away, so let's hope 2017 brings us all some peace and calm.

Comment by Callie2 on January 1, 2017 at 12:42pm
Sherry,
It is so very difficult dealing with a loss and the intensity of the grief that follows. Many here are dealing with the firsts of these holidays which amps up the pain even more. Time seems to be the only thing that helps but I remember feeling that time had stopped and each day was just another long day of misery. We try to make sense of it and keep asking ourselves why?

I remember thinking if I hadn't met and married my husband I wouldn't be dealing with this awful pain! But then, I wouldn't have felt the happiness and all the love we shared. Our grief counselor asked if anyone would take a pill, if offered, that could wipe out the entire memory of our spouses or partners, thus eliminating the pain. Well no, I want to treasure those memories! After a while I think we can become grateful for the time we did share together. This all does take time, though, and it is a process.

It's true that you will never be the same, none of us are. We become the sum of life's experiences. With each experience whether it be bad or good, we can learn something. There will come a day when grieving ends and you can move forward. It doesn't mean you won't have sad moments or that you will ever forget but your memory will be more focused upon the good times you shared together. I hope 2017 brings you peace.

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