I used to be just a normal lady from the relatively younger generation.
When my life was completed with a loving husband, I browsed facebook almost immediately when I woke up to check on friends' status/pics. I uploaded pics or updated about my humble, happy life with my husband and my 2yo occasionally. Life was good.
Since my husband passed in January this year, all I have been browsing are blogs written by widows/widowers and lately Widowed Village.
Before cancer took my husband away, at night after we put baby to sleep, I picked up my books to read and to wind down my days. Lately all I have been reading are blog posts and comments from other widows/widowers.
I hate facebook now. I don't want to see my friends' happy families and how much life and happiness they share there. I used to have my own happy family, too! My healthy and good looking husband, our cute 2yo, and me looking pretty and happy, our family was simply a perfect one. We just came back from a 5-week vacation from Asia shortly before our life crumbled down to pieces. Is my husband's death even real? I guess that has to be as I have his cremains sitting right next to my laptop at the moment.
I can't even comprehend what is going on in my life. I hate this life, and I even hate myself. I feel being pampered and loved by my husband = I killed him. If I did more for him, maybe he would have lived.