It is getting close to the end of summer next change in my life will be our youngest daughter going off to college. I know she is scared but she will not admit it and myself I am terrified. Her main worry is leaving me home alone. I keep telling her I will be fine, she needs to be able to grow as a adult because one day I will be gone too. Truth is I do not know how I am going to handle being home alone, I went from living at home with my parents and 2 younger sisters to being Mike's wife at 20 years old now at 45 i'll be all alone. The dogs will be a help but not the same for me. Our marriage was far from a fairy tail Mike and the girls are my life.
I thought that I was doing well I no longer cry daily, or get upset when something breaks or stops working. Last Friday my battery died in my truck and I was so upset but then I remembered Mike was not around to yell at me and make me feel bad for the battery but later in the day he would of joked and laughed about it to his friends, that is just the way he was. Our daughters and I took care of it and I thought to myself how relieved I was that Mike was not around. I can not believe I even thought that their is something really wrong with my brain. This morning I went to see his stone before the company puts it in at the cemetery I got out of the car and starting crying I saw his name and date of birth but when I saw his date of death I just started laughing for some reason I have no idea how it got pasted me the company and all the people involved in the design and processing of the stone but instead of March they had MAR, I am fine with the abbreviation the stone is on the small side but what got me was the , ? I have been out of school for a long time but did they change something I always thought a period not a comma came after a abbreviation. It will be fixed they told me but for now we decided to place the stone in and change it out when the new one comes.
My health insurance will not kick in till mid November I know i need some kind of counseling but getting my daughter ready for school. buying her everything she should need like her own health policy so she can live in the dorms and her tuition is first on my list. I buy my medication at a discount price thanks to the pharmacy and as long as i do not get sick I am fine in this area.
Has anyone else felt like they were going insane?