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His side of the bed goes empty

my laundry sorter time and again cleared

mountainous clothes at some point and cleared once again

then nothing

then pillows with pretty pillowcases and big ones covered in stripes

and small ones with pink roses and lacy ones of all sizes

many pillows i stopped counting

and still his side of the bed goes empty

books have been snoozing on his side of the bed

booklights and bookmarks

his side of the bed lies plumped with lofty mattress topper

waiting for his weight to lie down and "cozy cozy" like he used

to say ... as he drifted off to sleep

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Comment by lonelyinaz on May 14, 2015 at 8:42pm
I also took his side of the bed. Seemed like it was more of a comfort to me than wailing on my side alone. Even all the days in the hospital over the yrs, i slept there. I had a dream and it was very real, he was on my side grabbed my hand said "honey i love you". Felt like he was on my side because he knew i was on his. So that gave me some peace to. Amazing us widows and widowers will take any peace we can get without question. We reach out everywhere. Hugs to all.
Comment by Hornet (Cindy) on May 14, 2015 at 4:17pm

Sad One, you described my bed as well. It is the laundry sorter at the moment...books and remote controls buried underneath. Melody, my husband died in our bed as well. I also kept mine. In fact, my daughters made me promise to give it to one of them if ever I buy a new mattress. We all love him so...

Comment by Patience on May 14, 2015 at 11:22am

We got a new wifi router and it doesn't connect very well in my bedroom... and ONLY on his side of the bed! 

Comment by katpilot on May 14, 2015 at 5:50am

While I tried to sleep on my wife's side of the bed at first, it just didn't work. It felt wrong somehow. We were contemplating getting a new bed before she died but never got that accomplished. I struggled with the bed for four years not wanting to lose one more piece of her but I wasn't sleeping well. Got the new bed last month and guess what. I still am not sleeping well. I don't think it's the bed. I did however manage to sleep on her side now after four years. Perhaps the bed will last twice as long alternating sides.

When you've shared a bed for so many years Sad One, it becomes one of the most connected things you will have in your life. Through intimacy, illness, and rest, it is destined to be a trigger. But alas, all things wear out if we live long enough. I have to remember that it's just stuff. The essence of who they are will always remain......... especially when you "drift off to sleep".

Comment by Choosing life on May 14, 2015 at 5:22am
Sad One --- so very sorry for your loss. It was over a year before I could sleep in the middle of the bed. Still can't manage to sleep on his side. Take it day by day --- even by the hour or minute if necessary. It will get better -- slowly. Praying we all find some peace today.
Comment by vintage56(barb) on May 14, 2015 at 4:45am

I know that sad feeling. Thank you.

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