A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I am in the middle of preparing my room to become truly mine and was encouraged to hang as many pictures I wanted. In the beginning I was very hesitant on it as I could not look at my John's face without crying. To me he is a handsome man: his hazel eyes sparkled constantly when mischievous and puppy dog when loving, his dark blonde hair neat (sometimes!) and NOT prone to graying as mine was, and his nose...oh how I love his nose, but the most attractive thing was his smile. He was happy go lucky and quick with a smile. He would smile so wide his eyes would close (to the consternation of every photographer).
Seeing his smile in the very beginning brought me to tears. I've reached a point that now I can smile back at him. If I do cry, it isn't out of what I've lost...It is of what I HAVE. I have his love. I have wonderful memories of us. I have HIM; all this fills me with joy. I don't miss him anymore because I know he is with me all the time. All I have to do his remember his smile.