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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I am skipping Thanksgiving-so shoot me :-)

We loved this holiday in prior years....we enjoyed it with my family or in the past few years, we traveled. It was wonderful and filled with memories.

Last year and this year....not so much. This year, my sister can't host the meal-illness with her inlaws prevents that. My husband was estranged from his parents for good reason...sometimes you have to sever or suspend a toxic relationship to ensure your own "oxygen mask" stays in place. This year, I cannot stomach the thought of a trip to New York to spend a holiday about family in that inlaw "fake" environment. So I am not going to.

So I am making a different decision...

We are staying here. Spending the holiday with friends we adore as family. Spending the morning volunteering to serve dinner to 45 sailors from the naval station so they can have a Thanksgiving. Unless something changes, that is where we will be.

We have skipped the Thanksgiving decorations and moved on to the Christmas we all love and want to celebrate. The trees are up and we have invited another widow and her kids to help us decorate them. The entryway is full of garland and twinkling lights. The place looks cheery and it soothes my soul in some strange way.

We will celebrate Christmas here...laugh when we can, cry when we must. But neither my son nor I want to bury the holiday in our grief. We decided that, together. Yes, we will continue to grieve and absolutely understand and support our widowed friends who make a different holiday decision. It is all okay that we do the things that soothe and sing to our souls in this time of grieving.

Right now, right here in our house we feel the holiday is about hope, love, and laughter...all the good things that John brought to our lives.

So we will remember....and celebrate.

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Comment by Lakelady on November 19, 2014 at 5:15pm
I so agree Barbee!! That sounds like a great plan-and for a good cause, too.
Comment by barbee on November 19, 2014 at 4:35pm

Thanksgiving will be different for me this year too. I don't want to cook all that food nor do I want to eat it. Instead, I'll help serve a Thanksgiving dinner (with all the fixings!) to about 100 as our church hosts a free community meal. It's a week away and already it feels good. There is ALWAYS something to be thank for!

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