A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Last week being Fathers day set this off for. We were married 25 years.the first few years his kids visited, had cookouts , Grand kids spent nights with us. then Frank did not like the fact his oldest daughter was in relationship with a married man. Lord knows what she went back and said to her family but in the past 20 years i had always been the only one to buy him a card or a gift and watched him the whole day sit and hope the phone would ring or fight back the tears. If we seen them anywhere they treated him like he was just someone they knew. i was petty much non existant except when they hurt his feeling, then i would blow up.
Now he is gone. A few months ago they treated me like trash because I had not put headstone or slab on his grave. After big blow up and his oldest doing what i had requested i allowed her to put a slab. probably to my regret one day.
It is beautiful BUT over the top. She had to show off. Then the phone calls and emails start wanting his things. He was a simple man, did not have a lot of hobbies or outside interest so not much to share. Out of i guess wanting to do the right thing i have tried to give them what they have wanted.
I would have been willing to give them anything if they would have loved him and been here with him while he was alive. his brother and sister included. Frank was the black sheep. Not only that my sister is married to Franks brother and they are seperated.
The thing is it is not the material things that are bothering me. It is the fact. WHERE WERE THEY THE PAST 68 years he was alive. why did they hurt him and talk to him the way they did if they loved him so much. Now they are apologizing for that and the oldest said she wished she could have a "DO OVER". His whole family still speaks to me but always adding some jab that breaks my heart and pisses me off at the same time. BUT still for some reason i try to keep that door open to them.
This is tearing me up and breaking my heart again. I hate every conversation i have with them because i dont say what i really think. Some where in the back of my mind for him im still trying to make that connection for him and be a family. I guess Im somehow wanting to MAKE them see what a great Father he would have been. He helped my sister raise her 3 kids and Hayden.