This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

How do I even begin to say "Thank You"?

"Thank you" seems woefully inadequate these days.

It's just not enough.

Yes I've lost friends who can't handle being around someone who is a "widow" or has "baggage". I have dealt with "drive-by kindness" that was more about people being seen to help me then actually seeing me and helping me.

But then there are the others......

Others like my friend Ange who showed up with her husband Todd right after the police arrived to notify me of John's death and kept me going during those first awful hours

Others like the moms from school who swooped in in the days between John's death and when my family arrived to clean my house from top to bottom when I could barely see through the shock and tears

Others like the amazing women that I scrapbook with who took a bucket of photos and created beautiful picture boards for the funeral-and remind me to create new memories with Collin when I am ready to venture out

Others like my sister came and held me together through the awful days afterwards and up to the funeral and he's been back several times since

Others like my dear friend Erin who at the funeral stood in back so I would have someone to talk to when I delivered John's eulogy and who has been a rock ever since-she will be forever my wingman (really a wingwoman)

Others like the older scouts in our scout troop – young men who came up to me at the Funeral and said "don't worry, we've got Collin"

Others like Sarah, the awesome mom who set up the CareCalendar so people would know what to help me with-and for those Who brought us meals, mowed our lawn, and just stopped by to check on me

Others like my husband's friends who knew I couldn't handle Mother's Day two weeks after the funeral and took us on an airplane ride

Others like the investigating officer on John's case, who went through the car to find "The" red DS that Collin bought with his dad, got it released from evidence and got it back to us

Others like our friend Todd who volunteered to be my sons "plus one" at scout events and everything else with Collin. He is stepping in to help keep John's memory alive. And when I tried to thank him? His response is always the same "it has and always will be my honor"

Others like John's Mason brothers from the lodge – the ones who keep showing up stepping up and are surrounding Collin with great role models and memories of his dad

Other like the guys at work who are taking me out to lunch and have flat out told me they don't care if I spend the entire time talking about my husband and how much I love him-and mean it

Others like Pat, a good friend who I was afraid to call after the funeral because he lost his own dad at age 11. When I finally did talk to him and lost it on the call, saying I don't know what to do for Collin, said "don't worry, sweetheart, we'll figure this out together."

Others like the amazing people here at widowed village who step in and really "get it" and lean IN towards me when my heart cracks open and the raw grief comes pouring out

....and the list goes on

The words still aren't enough.

I have no words, no way to show you what your kindness has meant right now.

And so, I am back to those woefully inadequate words, backed by what is in my heart....

Thank you.

Views: 161


You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

Comment by Blue Snow on August 8, 2014 at 3:16am

What a wonderful gratitude list! Focusing on the kindness and warmth that our friends and family have shown sure helps us to get through it all.  When it counts the most they show up even if sometimes it takes awhile for us to appreciate what was going on around us in our widow's fog.

Comment by missingyou on August 6, 2014 at 12:57pm

I feel  the same way. During the darkest time of my life…Ive realized that people are basically kind. Everyone has accommodated us and have shown us so much love and support, even from strangers. But then again, I'm always thinking and wishing that I wasn't on the receiving end of all these. 

Comment by Doug02122014 on August 6, 2014 at 5:16am
Awe, Maggie:

No thank you needed here! With me it a give and take think

© 2020   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service